April 22nd, 2009

Easter was a great time spent with great company. I was so happy to have matts parents over and Matt. My grandparents were there too and were able to see Matt for the first time. It meant a lot to me to be with my family on Easter especially since Easter was Matt and my last holiday spent together. Everything was perfect. I found myself just sitting there gazing around and I realized how amazing my life is. I have two parents who love me unconditionally, I have both sets of grandparents still alive and well, and I have Matts family that has welcomed me as part of their family and made me feel so loved. I think I can honestly say Easter was the highlight of my life. My dad later confessed he was watching Matt as I walked into the room and he said he was so amazed by how Matt just starred at me, follow my movements, and just kept his eyes on me. That made me smile. I don't realize that because when I'm talking to someone or not watching Matt the whole time I don't get to see stuff like that. So its nice to hear it.
Matt surprised us by doing a few things that day. One, when I put Riley on his lap he brought his hand up to pet him, and two, he took his moms cup from her hand and started to take a drink out of it. Also on sunday I was eating my dinner at matts house and while I was eating Matt just starred at me and my food!! He totally wanted my food! I gave him just a little and he seems to do ok with swallowing it. Hopefully he can start eating soon.
Some great and wonderful news to be told is Matts eyes are improving, the lenses he has now are too strong so this means his eyes are healing and correcting themselves. And if anyone forgot, his eye sight was a cause of the brain damage so this means that his brain is healing and things are getting better!!!! Slowly I know we will start seeing more and more improvements on things. Don't ever lose hope! Always believe, always trust! Some more great news is that Matt went back to SDSU for another evaluation, only this time he completely blew everyone away with the progress he has made in 6 weeks from the last visit! Again he's improving and things are connecting! :)
I recently had to bring myself out of a slump because all of a sudden everything hit me and I started panicing. I was crying and couldn't stop because I was scared and I let my emotions get the best of me. My therapist had me think about my life then and my life now. The thing is I love Matt more everyday because he shows me what a true hero is. I love how our relationship has grown through all this. I love how I have become strong from this and I haven't given up. Im glad that I can be here for him and be a support for him. The thing I needed to realize is that what was, will always be there in my memories, and what is, is right now and I'm going to make the best of it. Im going to love him for who he is and all that he is. Because no one or nothing can ever change who Matt is. He's the one my heart beats for everyday, the one I would die for, the one who one day will make history for all brain patients! And when he does I will be there, loving him still.
There's not a day that goes by that we all aren't scared of something, or afraid of what might happen. All we have to do is hold onto what we believe in and never let it go. Don't let anyone tell you you can't have what you have always wanted. Matt is capable of going after anything and everything he wants. I know he'll do it. He's strong, determine, and a fighter!
Say a prayer for Matt that he will feel the help and feel the support that is all here for him. Pray for him to believe in himself. If he can do that he can do it all.
Again thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the prayers. They do not go unheard.