Matt Ruiz

August 31st, 2009

2009-08-31T12:32:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I have not been updating on here but I'm very busy with planning and coordinating this tournament. Please go to matts dads blog and read about matts progress. I promise after the tournament is over ill be back on track!
Speaking of the tournament... I know that all of you want to see Matt back on his feet again. In order to continue his therapy and get him what he needs we have to raise money. Im really reaching out to all of you right now and asking for everyones help. We need to get this tournament talked about. We need players, I'm having a really hard time getting players for this tournament. If you do not golf, but know of people that golf please pass along the information. I can't stress how important this is. MAtt has all the potential in the world to be back to the young man that we all love and miss. I know I want more than anything for him to just say "what's up"?
Please keep his tournament in your prayers. Thank you!!

See July 31st entry for golf entry form and details of the tournament.

2nd Annual Matt Ruiz Benefit Golf Tournament

2009-07-31T22:26:00.000-07:00

It's that time again for friends and family to come together in support of Matt.

Here are links to the Entry Form and Poster for you to print out and/or send in.

Download/Print Entry Form: Click Here
Download/Print Poster: Click Here

As many of you are aware, Matt Ruiz was involved in a devastating car accident last year on the eve of March 28, 2008. Our family has been blessed to have the outpouring of support and encouragement of out friends and community members including you.

As a result of Matt’s accident, he struggled through a month-long coma and was hospitalized for a period of approximately five (5) months. It goes without saying that Matt’s condition is serious and both he and out entire family strive every day to remain positive as we face immeasurable medical challenges with him. It was determined, after tests, that Matt has sustained a traumatic brain injury from the impact of the accident.

What this means for Matt is that he is currently confined to a wheelchair is unable to speak and absorbs nutrients through a feeding tube. At present, his condition has been quite grim, however, Matt has recently made strides with his full-time caretakers and occupational therapist. While we’re excited to continue this level of care for Matt, we are unable to afford the prohibitive costs. Our family believes that with continued support and the proper medical attention that Matt will prevail. We know his spirit coupled with the continued support of our family and friends that Matt will transcend this tragedy to eventually triumph.

We’re writing to share of Matt’s progress and also to respectfully ask for your help and direct support. We’re teaming up with both Vision International and the Maderas Golf Club to host a fun-filled Golf Outing, to raise funds that will go directly to continue funding further care for Matt.

We invite you to join in the festivities and become a member of Matt’s winning team. We would be honored to have you with us for the day of golf scheduled for Friday, September 25, 2009 at 1 p.m. entry cost is $150.00 and/or we would welcome your consideration in providing a charitable contribution to our planned auction and opportunity drawing.

Any donations provided by a private person or organization would receive prominent recognition at our opportunity drawing/live auction display area and verbal acknowledgement in the presence of all guests.

On behalf of both Matt and our family, thank you in advance for your consideration of our request. If you have any questions, or if we may provide you with anything additional, please contact me directly as (760) 484-2767. We hope you can be with us.

With tremendous hope and gratitude,

Lindsey Smith (Matt’s Girlfriend)

Benefit Coordinator

Here are links to the Entry Form and Poster for you to print out and/or send in.

Download/Print Entry Form: Click Here
Download/Print Poster: Click Here

Golf Registration Form

2009-07-20T16:48:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone, as you can see I have put up a registration form for everyone to take a look at. If you are interested in playing, sponsoring, or donating please let me know asap so i can get a registration form to you. This year we have a tax ID number from our main sponsor Vision International. If anyone has any questions please do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you!

July 3rd, 2008

2009-07-04T00:02:00.000-07:00

July 2nd I went to speech therapy w/ Matt. I Really pushed him to do what we asked of him. I sorta stepped in and took over because I wanted results. Matt has to be pushed. He needs continuous pushing to do what we know he can do. Its what I like to call tough love. Its hard to be gruff with him but He did it. We also have to be excited about the things we are asking him to do. For example the girls at SDSU hooked a radio up to a push button, so all Matt had to do was push and hold the button to play music. If we get excited to hear the music and get into it then it will excite him more to do it. He does get a little angry when we raise our voices and really push at one thing, but he will do it.
That same Night I came over and watched a movie with him. I laid in his bed next to him while watching the movie. I turned my body sideways to the left. I Fell asleep and when I woke up he had snuggled up next to me, arms around me, head on mine.Opening my eyes to see his sleeping face next to mine felt so amazing! It felt normal again. I wanted to freeze time and remember it forever! When I get those moments with him my heart just aches. It makes me want more and more.
Today I went over to his house and stood on the bench over him and made him push his right hand up to me. I Had him place his hand on my thigh and move it down half way to my knee, then back up for arm control. Every time I told him to reach for me he did. He continued doing this with me for about 10 minutes. You can only keep Matt's attention for a short period of time with certain things unless he enjoys what he's doing.
We had alone time together which we don't normally have, so it was nice. He really focused on what I was saying. I really felt like I had my boyfriend back. It was a pretty amazing feeling. I got Lots of kisses. Communication between us was pretty amazing too. I'd ask for a kiss and he would give me one. I asked for a hug and he would give me one.
I told him while I was crying like a baby, (I really need to stop doing that) that I needed him back. I just missed him like crazy! I needed him to get better, I just needed him to tell me everything will be okay. He just lifted his arm up and put it on my shoulder, and I buried my face in his chest. I kind of felt bad afterward because He had a tear in his eye. I told him I was sorry for being so emotional, It's just that there are days and moments that I can't deal with it all and I just want to snap my fingers and have everything go back to normal. I want him so badly. There's so much going on in my life that I want to share with him and do with him.
I know there is light at the end of this road though and that's why I'm holding on to him. If I have to, I'll hold on forever.

June 28th, 2009

2009-06-28T21:37:00.000-07:00

Today Matts family was up from Anaheim. We had a nice bbq and got to see his cousins 8 week old baby Daniel. It was so incredibly hot it Ramona today that we spent most of the time inside but yesterday his dad took Matt out and put his feet in the pool. Matt really liked it. Matt did something cool today. I was finishing up feeding him and he started to get a cranky look on his face. Then he started grinding his teeth. So I asked him what was wrong. He started grumbling so I said van you show me what wrong? He lifted his right arm up and touched his shoulder. So I asked him does it hurt? Do you have an itch? And he started scratching his shoulder. I told him to point where and I would help him out. He pointed and I scratched it for him. You could see when I started scratching he just relaxed. I thought that was pretty amazing because I've been telling him he has to start communicating how he feels. So today was a perfect example! I was so proud of him! If he can continue to do those little things and communicate like that, it shows progress. Now we just have to get him to do these things at his therapy sessions.
In the last month I have been super busy with school and work and I haven't been around as much as I used to. Matt has definitely noticed that I haven't been around as much and his attitude has changed. His parents noticed a change in his participation and just his attitude alone. And we connected it to me not being around as much. I'm going to try and go to his speech therapy sessions at SDSU after I get out of class. Hopefully he'll start participating more.
So just pray that he will start giving speech therapy more of a chance and that he won't get bored.

Father's Day

2009-06-22T21:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we took Matt to the Del Mar Fair Grounds...or known as the San Diego County Fair. It was a beautiful day. His Mom, Dad, Britt, and I went. We had a great time! I think Matt really enjoyed going out and seeing different things too. I think being in the exhibit halls though might have gotten to be a little much for him though. But it turned out to be a great fathers day for his dad. =)

Today I was over there and I gave Matt the squirt gun and he started shooting me. His Mom started that with his last week and he really likes it! Looks like we will be having squirt gun wqars in the back yard this summer!!! =) Here's a Picture!

Matt Ruiz 2nd Annual Golf Benefit

2009-06-22T21:13:00.000-07:00

Here's the info for Matt's Golf Benefit that I am having for him!

Matt Ruiz 2nd Annual Golf Benefit

June 4th, 2008

2009-06-04T21:19:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! Just wanted to give you a quick update on matts swallow test he had Monday. He did really good. They gave him a few different things to swallow with a barium in it so they could see how well he swallowed it down. He did great! Swallowed everything down and it was all going down the right tube. So we can continue giving Matt food to eat and swallow down. Lisa is just going to continue giving him more and more as long as he can handle it. The more he eats himself the stronger his tongue will get and his jaw and hopefully that will also help with speech too! Fingers are crossed!

Matt Ruiz Benefit!

2009-06-03T16:41:00.000-07:00

Okay date is set! September 25th! Maderas Golf Course! Hope everyone will attend! Please contact me if you have any questions. More info will be posted as I continue to plan the benefit!

May 30th, 2009

2009-05-29T18:01:00.000-07:00

I am so happy to report that we finally got an appointment date for the swallow test! June 1st! Tomorrow!!!! We need everyones prayers that day. This test is going to show matts capability to swallow and hopefully it will open the doors for Matt to eventually get his feeding tube removed! This is a huge step and my fingers are crossed for the best news, which would be that Matt can start eating whole foods by mouth now!
I know I shouldn't get too excited but its hard not to. With him going to speech therapy in June and now the swallow test and he's completely holding his head up now...I have a smile from ear to ear and my heart feels like its going to burst with excitement! I pray everyday and every night for a miracle, for just one more minute with him, just to hear his voice say I love you one more time.
A lot of people ask me, "will Matt ever be the same again?" My answer to that is simple, Matt should have died in that accident, but he lived, he pulled through the impossible, God has such an amazing plan for him. It might not be what we all want, but then it might, all we have to be thankful for is we still have an amazing young man in our lives. Gods never disappointed me before, and I don't expect him to now. There's a reason why Matt is still here with us. But from my heart and what I feel and believe, especially when I'm with him, Matt's going to surprise us all!

Matt always seems to surprise me. Like tonight, I was leaving and he gave me a hug and his parents said to give me a big squeeze!! HE did! It's the most amazing feeling in the world. I had to just hold back the tears. The way he makes me feel just takes my breath away. I'm just waiting for that phone call one day, saying he finally talked, or he took his first step today. I know someday we will have that joy of hearing and seeing that.

I posted two new pictures of Matt and I that I just took the other night. Hope you enjoy! Remember to keep Matt in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow morning! I can't wait to update everyone when I find out!

2009-05-25T23:29:00.000-07:00

I love you Matt! And I miss you so much!

2nd Annual Matt Ruiz Golf Tournament!!!!!

2009-05-20T23:27:00.000-07:00

So I now everyone has to be excited about this post!!! I sure am! Yes it is that time again ladies and gentlemen! Time to get out there again and show Matt and his family how much we want to see Matt back on his feet and back in our everyday lives! There will be more information coming soon but this is just a little teaser... =)

Where: Maderas Golf Course

When: September 25th, 2009 (tenative)

May 20th, 2009

2009-05-20T22:40:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone sorry it's been awhile since I last wrote. I have so much to update you on. I hope I don't leave anything out...first I just want to say that don't ever give up on something you believe in, love, want, or trust. Listen to your heart and it'll lead you right where you need to be.

So as most of you know Matt's 27th Birthday was on May 3rd! We had a little birthday party for him which turned out really nice. It was so good to be home with him on his birthday celebrating rather than in a hospital like last year. Matt was totally awake this year and I think he enjoyed himself very much. I know I did!

In the last month I have noticed a chance in Matt. As I wrote in the past entry we were working on a recording for Matt. His mom, dad and I all went in and recorded with Jon Haaz. Well it's finished and Matt has been listening to it. Ever since Matt started listening to it I have seen a huge difference in his awareness, and just the way he looks at us and pays attention to what's going on, whether we are having a conversation or someone new comes in the house. It's so amazing how much more concentrated he is on everything. I can remember when I came over on a day that he had been listening to the recording and he heard my voice when I came into the house. He was laying on the bench and I saw his head pull up to try and see me. When I made it around to look at him he just starred at me. Now he always stares at me, I've said this before where I feel he speaks to me through his eyes, only this time it was different. I truly felt like he understood what I was going through and what I was feeling going through this whole process. It was like he soaked everything in that I had said in the recording. It was such a great feeling. I just felt loved so much more!

Matt has also been learning how to move his left side. Yes I said the left side!!! It's just like back in September when Matt was learning how to move his right side, it's slow and not always on command but it's getting there. But again if he is learning how to move his left side that means his brain is learning how to work around the damaged areas. That means that his brain is doing the impossible! He's once again being that 10%. I can't even begin to explain how proud I am of him. Just when I think he can't impress me anymore than he already has he goes and does this. To me he's accomplishing the impossible. He has his new lenses now too. He looks so handsome! His eyes look amazing. You can really see a difference from then to now. again this is another sign of his brain healing and working around the damaged areas.

Over the weekend we had his Dad's side of the family down for a Sunday afternoon gathering. It was so nice to see everyone and have that family time. His aunt said the cutest thing, "he does give her dreamy eyes doesn't he?" =) awwww he gives me dreamy eyes. You know whats so amazing? I met most of Matt's family after his accident. and yet now I feel like they are my own family. They have all welcomed me into their family with open arms and I am so blessed to have found such an amazing man with the greatest family ever. Just on Monday Matt was playing cards with his mom and she was getting him to count and pick out cards that would add up to a certain amount. She did this about 25 times with him and every time he got it right! So he was listening to what she was asking of him, processing it, doing the math in his head, then reaching out to grab the right card. That's alot for him to do, but he did it! not once, not twice, but 25 times! Later he was playing rock, paper, scissor with his dad. He totally got that concept too! When I hear about all this that's he's doing and see the difference in him it makes me think back to the days in the hospital...Palomar. Sitting in the hallways waiting on every second, minute and hour for some doctor to come out and crush all my hopes and dreams. Where every time I would sit in there with him and talk to him, pray over him, and just hope that he'll just wake up; there was always a nurse or doctor there to tell me to let go, move on, accept the outcome of the accident, remember him, love him, but accept that he's brain dead. And I would always tell them...nope, he's there, he's still in there holding on. I never gave up hope he would one day look at me with those big brown eyes, smile at me with that cute smile of his, hug me, hold my hand, kiss me, talk to me, walk with me, laugh with me, and one day grow old with me. So far he's done most of those. If I would have given up way back then I never would have had the joy in my heart that I do now. It just makes you realize that you can't listen to what people say. I listened to my heart, and I still continue to do so. Just recently Matt has learned to kiss me back. When I kiss him he smooches me right back. =) I would trade anything in this world for those moments.

Tonight I got the best gift ever from him. I was kind of tickling his feet and he just smiled this big smile, it's was almost this chuckle smile. It was amazing. It gave me goose bumps, set chills down my spine, and took my breathe away. Those are the moments I live for. I consider myself the luckiest woman in the world because I have his heart. He's everything to me.

I know there are trialing times in our lives and sometimes we feel like giving up, or we feel like it's never going to get better. Trust me I asked myself everyday for a long time...did I break a mirror, cross paths with a black cat, walk under a ladder???? The thing is when we face the difficult times we have to hold our head up high, keep our faith, and keep pushing forward. And remember there is light at the end of the tunnel.

April 22nd, 2009

2009-04-22T22:16:00.000-07:00

Easter was a great time spent with great company. I was so happy to have matts parents over and Matt. My grandparents were there too and were able to see Matt for the first time. It meant a lot to me to be with my family on Easter especially since Easter was Matt and my last holiday spent together. Everything was perfect. I found myself just sitting there gazing around and I realized how amazing my life is. I have two parents who love me unconditionally, I have both sets of grandparents still alive and well, and I have Matts family that has welcomed me as part of their family and made me feel so loved. I think I can honestly say Easter was the highlight of my life. My dad later confessed he was watching Matt as I walked into the room and he said he was so amazed by how Matt just starred at me, follow my movements, and just kept his eyes on me. That made me smile. I don't realize that because when I'm talking to someone or not watching Matt the whole time I don't get to see stuff like that. So its nice to hear it.
Matt surprised us by doing a few things that day. One, when I put Riley on his lap he brought his hand up to pet him, and two, he took his moms cup from her hand and started to take a drink out of it. Also on sunday I was eating my dinner at matts house and while I was eating Matt just starred at me and my food!! He totally wanted my food! I gave him just a little and he seems to do ok with swallowing it. Hopefully he can start eating soon.
Some great and wonderful news to be told is Matts eyes are improving, the lenses he has now are too strong so this means his eyes are healing and correcting themselves. And if anyone forgot, his eye sight was a cause of the brain damage so this means that his brain is healing and things are getting better!!!! Slowly I know we will start seeing more and more improvements on things. Don't ever lose hope! Always believe, always trust! Some more great news is that Matt went back to SDSU for another evaluation, only this time he completely blew everyone away with the progress he has made in 6 weeks from the last visit! Again he's improving and things are connecting! :)
I recently had to bring myself out of a slump because all of a sudden everything hit me and I started panicing. I was crying and couldn't stop because I was scared and I let my emotions get the best of me. My therapist had me think about my life then and my life now. The thing is I love Matt more everyday because he shows me what a true hero is. I love how our relationship has grown through all this. I love how I have become strong from this and I haven't given up. Im glad that I can be here for him and be a support for him. The thing I needed to realize is that what was, will always be there in my memories, and what is, is right now and I'm going to make the best of it. Im going to love him for who he is and all that he is. Because no one or nothing can ever change who Matt is. He's the one my heart beats for everyday, the one I would die for, the one who one day will make history for all brain patients! And when he does I will be there, loving him still.
There's not a day that goes by that we all aren't scared of something, or afraid of what might happen. All we have to do is hold onto what we believe in and never let it go. Don't let anyone tell you you can't have what you have always wanted. Matt is capable of going after anything and everything he wants. I know he'll do it. He's strong, determine, and a fighter!
Say a prayer for Matt that he will feel the help and feel the support that is all here for him. Pray for him to believe in himself. If he can do that he can do it all.
Again thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the prayers. They do not go unheard.

April 6th, 2009

2009-04-06T07:11:00.000-07:00

So Matt had a really good time at the car show! His dad gave him his ticket and told him to hold onto it. When we got up to the entrance Matt totally handed his ticket to the lady!!!! It was so neat! We asked him later in the day if he was having fun and he gave us a thumbs up! :) it seemed like he was having a good time. He was bright eyed all day. I think it was really good for him. He was out in the sun, around alot of people, and there was a lot for him to watch. I have a picture of him at the car show I'll have to post later.

April 3rd, 2009

2009-04-03T07:17:00.000-07:00

I'm really happy to report that Matt has really started to communicate with us by using the yes/no buttons. He was first introduced to these buttons back in February at the SDSU evaluation. The yes button is green and the no button is red. His dad and mom were asking him questions such as "do you like standing, does standing make you clear headed, do you like being able to communicate, are you hungry, do you want a grape sucker, do you want a watermelon sucker?" Matt was able to clearly use the buttons to answer them. He also just seems so much more alert and clear headed. He looks happy. The other night we were watching TV and he moved a little and a huge smile came across his face. He was just lit up with this smile. I was so happy to see that. I asked him if he could give me a smile showing teeth and I was laughing with him and smiling showing my teeth. He then smile again but this time with his two front teeth showing. It was really neat. I swear it was like he was trying to laugh at me. Seeing these new things that he's figuring out is just really exciting.
This weekend we are all going to go to the del mar fair grounds to the hot road show. I think this will be really good stimulation. For him. He'll be out side around a ton of people and he'll have plenty to look at. Ill blog about our adventure later. And for Easter my family is having his family over. This will be good too. Its a change of scenery and he'll be able to see Riley! I'm excited to see what both of their reactions will be. And it'll be the first time that my grandparents will have seen him since before the accident.
I'm very hopeful for a promising month. He goes back to SDSU next friday for the next 3 Fridays. They will continue working on his speech progress.
Ill keep everyone updated on that progress as well.

One year later...

2009-03-27T22:14:00.000-07:00

I have thought about this day for so long. I would think about where we would be in a year. What would it be like? I don't think you can ever prepare yourself for what the future will hold. I'm thankful everyday that I have him still to go to and be with and talk to. I'm not going to lie...it's hard. Somedays I can't go there and see him because I don't feel strong enough. But truth is, if I don't see him its harder on me. I still cry everyday for him. I still hope that when I open that door to his house he'll be there standing waiting there for me with open arms, a big smile, and a welcoming hello. I would give anything for that moment. I would give anything for just one more day to hear his voice, see that smile, feel his embrace, and hear his laugh. To think I have been able to get through a whole year without him is amazing to me. He's my whole world. He was what made sense in my life, he kept me going everyday, kept me hoping, kept me dreaming, he was the air I would breathe everyday. He was my best friend that I told everything to. I remember saying on the car ride down to the hospital, "this is just a dream, pinch me so I can wake up..." What I thought was a dream turned into my worst nightmare. Everything still seems like a blurr a year ago, but when I close my eyes I can see everything replay in my dreams. I see the accident, I see him laying there barely holding on, I see us all lined in the hallways crying and holding onto eachother. I hear the monitors and the quiet wisphers of the nurses and doctors. You think that with time it'll all go away, but it still lingers around to haunt you. Even after one year my heart hearts so badly. I feel like I can't breathe, it's like someone is sitting on my chest crushing me. I want so badly to turn back time and change the outcome of the events. But I can't and that is the worst feeling.

In this last year he has come so far and I am so proud of him. When I see him do new things it makes my heart smile again. I get so excited for all the new things that he is doing, it makes me so hopeful that everythings going to be okay. He's going to pull through. I know he is trying so very hard to break through that box he is stuck in. I see it everyday. I can stare into those eyes and see my amazing boyfriend in there. His eyes speak to me. I wish there was something I could do to help him break through. But I'll I can do is be there for him, love him, give him encouragement, and remind him that he can do anything that he puts his mind to. I keep telling him that it's just an injury, and all injuries heal with time. I remind him that there are ways of getting around the injury he just has to find the right path. We all know what it's like to have that voice in our head that tells us we can't do it, it brings us down and makes us feel like there's nothing we can do better. But then there's someone in your life that comes along that reminds you that you are amazing and you can do anything you want to. That's what Matt needs from everyone. He needs to be reminded that it doesn't matter how bad it may seem, he can get better, he can have his life back. It's going to be hard, it's going to be a struggle, there's always an uphill battle that's waiting for us. But once you make that climb and get to the other side you see how wonderful everything can be. I heard this saying the other night, "having people is better then not having any people."

Yesterday I went and met with Jon who does recording here in town. Matt's dad came up with an idea of going and recording our voices for Matt so that he can listen to it throughout the day. So I recorded yesterday. I had wrote out everything I wanted to say so it would be easier. I had to go down memory lane, I had to remember our memories, I had to bring up times that made me feel so in love. It was soooo difficult. But at the same time it made me think about how much we were in love and all the great memories we shared. I began to thank God for all the time I did have with him before the accident. Those times I will never forget, they can never be replaced. It's nothing to be sad about, it's something that I can always remember and hope that someday we can make many more new memories. His dad and I also opened Matt's computer up to look for some pictures. We sat Matt by the computer and we went through all the pictures together. Seeing our pictures put a smile on my face and brighten Matt's face up. He just starred at that computer screen all bright eyed. It made me feel good, it was like he was feeling the same things I was feeling. I just sat there with him and held him. I know for alot of people it's hard to understand how I can feel so empty and lonely because he's still alive and here with us. The thing is, it's so much harder because when you love someone so much it's hard to see them struggle everyday, it's hard to see them in a different state, especially when that person can't vocalize what he's feeling.

I hope that everyone remembers what happened last year. I hope everyone will be careful when they drive, and that everyone will think before they get into a car after they have had a drink. I hope everyone knows who they are getting into a car with before going anywhere. And I truly hope that everyone still remembers who Matt was before this all happened, hold onto that and hope for another chance of seeing that same Matt that we all loved. Keep the prayers going...they are working. Stop by and say hi to him, he likes visitors. Remind him of what to fight for. I can't express my thanks to everyone for everything that you all have done in this past year. Thank you isn't enough.

Matt,

I love you, and I am so proud of everything that you have accomplished so far! Keep working hard and know that I will be here until the end. I will never stop being here for you! I promise.

February 21st, 2008

2009-02-21T22:22:00.000-08:00

I try to find a new way everyday to figure out how to deal with the situation at hand. I try to teach myself how to be stronger, how to be tough, but the truth is...I can't. I'm just me. I cry because I care, because I miss him so much. I think about the memories and all I want to do is scream because I want him back so badly. I want to see him smile, I want to hear him laugh, I need all those things. I never thought that I wouldn't be able to live without those things. It's all those things and more that made me who I am today. He made me a better person, we made each other great. I keep replaying a certain day in my head, I keep replaying his words to me. It's those words that keep me going, that keep me hoping. I'm so scared I'll never get Matt back, so scared we will never have the future we hoped for. But every time I have doubt Matt's their to remind me he's there. Like tonight, I had a little break down before going over to his house and when I got over there he was interacting with me and holding my hand. Later after dinner I was sitting on the bench where he was laying and he put his arm around my back, I leaned forward and kissed him, told him I loved him and always would...he started rubbing my back. He'd give me tight squeezes and then continue to rub my back, starting at my neck and all the way down to my waist. I can't even explain the feelings I was feeling. I wanted to freeze time so it would last forever. I just talked to him about our times together, past memories, silly moments, and he just continued to rub my back. God knew my heart was hurting and I truly believe he had his hand on Matt's tonight. We both are holding onto our memories, we both need to remember the good times.

With his year anniversary coming up i find it hard and difficult to deal with. We've come so far but I just can't believed it's almost been a year. It's scary. But I know that the year 2009 has so many good things in store for all of us. Matt will continue to improve, he will continue to amaze us all because he has a will and a drive to get better. We tell him everyday "we're not giving up so neither can you!" I know it's going to continue to be a rough and hard road ahead but I know we can all get through it. That bible verse continues to stick out in my head to this day, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord." We might not know what the future holds but we all know that God holds our future. We just have to trust and know everything will be okay.

I was recently told that it's okay to get mad, it's OK to get sad, and it's definitely OK to say "this sucks!" And you know what? It feels really good to say those things out loud. It makes you feel so much better. Because it's okay to feel that way sometimes. It's OK to not always have everything under control.

February 16th, 2009

2009-02-16T13:29:00.000-08:00

For the past few weeks Matt has worked really really hard at accomplishing mew things. Showing us some pretty amazing things he has learned to do. First he still continues to write names with a pen. Hopefully we can soon get him to communicate by writing. He also has been playing cards with Spencer and his speech therapists. They will ask him to pick out the red jack, and he'll do it. They'll tell him to pick out the ace of spades and he'll find that one and pull that one out of the pack. They also had him count change. For example they would ask him if 2 quarters add up to 50 cents, or if 4 quarters is a dollar. Matt would respond by using the one finger is yes and two fingers is no. He still is giving amazing hugs!! Everytime I ask for a hug he reaches out and gives me one. The other day he did something crazy too...he was sitting in his wheel chair and he totally lunged forward toward me with notha arms open wide. He was making a noise and had this look on his face that he was trying to say something. I just reached toward him and asked him "what are you trying to say?" it was pretty cool!! His speech therapists says that matt is definately in there and he understands what's going on. To me that's extremely exciting news!
Just yesterday Matt was sitting at the keyboard and started playing cords on the keyboard. His dad recorded it and I was able to watch it when I got over there. It was amazing, gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes!!! He remembers! He remembers from before, it was so amazing seeing his fingers move across that key board, it reminded me of all the times he would play for me, and all the times I'd sit there and listen to him record. :) I'm so excited!

GREAT AND WONDERFUL NEWS!!!!

2009-01-27T18:55:00.001-08:00

Yesterday Matt took and pen and wrote his name on a piece of paper at therapy. Amazing right?!! So last night we did the same thing and he took the sharpie pen and wrote his name, then his dad asked him to wright my name. He did, and he continued to wright his moms name, his dads name and Brit's name. It was amazing! We all had to keep the tears from flowing. It was such a relief to see him do this and just breath taking. I just kept praising him and telling him to look at what he was doing! I grabbed his face and kissed him then as I went to hug him he lifted his arm up and wrapped his hand around my head and squeezed me. I just buried my face in his neck. I didn't want to let go. I just kept saying how proud I was of him and how excited I am to see his improvements everyday. It doesn't matter how bad of a day your having or what went right or wrong, when I come home and see him and see everything that he is doing new today it washes everything else away.

Matt has such a strong ability to read into what we are all thinking and feeling. If I'm having a bad day he can totally read that and he gets into a frump. If you go and have a talk with him about whatever, he listens and takes it all in. I try and have talks with him about his recovery and how important it is for him to never give up hope of having a full recovery about once a week. Every single day Matt continues to make more and more improvements. So far this first month of the new year has been very exciting and I can't wait to see what the next few months will bring for his recovery.

January 24th, 2009

2009-01-21T09:18:00.000-08:00

The other day I started playing catch with Matt. I was tossing a balloon to Matt and he would catch it against his chest. He would get a hold of it then hand it back to me. I was tossing it in all different directions so he would actually move his whole arm to get it. He did this with me for a while.
On Monday he didn't want anything to do with the therapist so hopefully today he will participte more. He really likes showing them he can use a spoon all by himself! He's starting to become more aware of what's going on so he likes to do things himself and a lot of times he doesn't want to do childish things. This is good though. Things are healing more and more in his brain.
It looks like Matt will be doing speech, PT, and OT every Monday and Wednesdays. Now he'll have Fridays off from driving down the hill. Once Spencer gets back he will probably have Spencer back on Fridays and Sundays. All this therapy is really paying off.
The next thing his parents are looking into is getting him a new bed. One of his therapists said that Matt should be going through the process of getting his legs on the side of the bed, putting his feet on the ground and participating in moving his body to the wheel chair from the bed. Its important that he does not become dependent off of the sling or the wheel chair. So we have been having Matt do things by himself such as, brushing his teeth, shaving, brushing his hair, drinking water from a spoon, picking out what shirt he wants to wear, all these things are so good for his brain recovery. And it gives him control so he doesn't feel like we are doing everything for him.
A few more months of therapy and who knows where we will be by then. So exciting!!!

January 17th, 2008

2009-01-17T23:06:00.000-08:00

More great and exciting news!!!! Today Matt was in his standing frame and was holding his head up again. Later his parents were feeding him water from a spoon to help him get use to swallowing. As they were bringing up the spoon Matt grabbed it and decided he wanted to do it himself. So he continued to take the spoon and scoop up water and bring it to his mouth. He did this over and over again! Amazing right?!?!
Just wanted to update everyone!! And share the great news!

January 16th, 2008

2009-01-16T22:45:00.000-08:00

Today was such a great day! Matt did such an amazing job at therapy today! I'm still just in awe of everything. As PT was moving him from the wheelchair to the bench, they had him sitting and he just held his head up all by himself. No help with the sholders or anything. I couldn't believe it, that was the first time I had ever seen that while he was sitting. Another thing he did was we stretched his arms out onto a large ball and had him roll it forward and backward. I say in front holding his hands to the ball and rolled in toward me. Then we asked him to pull it back. He did awesome pulling it back and with a little help he started getting better with pushing too. After doing 10 reps of that we leaned him back against the wedge support, his head was thrown forward, so we asked him to pull his head back towards the wedge so he could see everything. Slowly he pulled his head back up!! It was amazing! I started clapping and yelling praises! I was so excited! Matt was so much more alert and focused, even the PT noticed a change in him. Then we went to the bicycle! I was so excited to see him in action. As soon as we got his feet on the petals Matt was ready to go! And he just went! It was so cool to watch as he just kept going. His mom and I just kept telling I'm to go faster. And he did!
I was so glad that I was able to be there today to see how much progress he is making. I'm so proud of him and all his hard work. Oh, oh, oh!!! I almost forgot, Matt also is starting to move his head from side to side. Especially now with his glasses. So many good things!!!
Keep it up Matt!!! We love you!!

January 15th, 2008

2009-01-15T12:13:00.000-08:00

Matt continues to work really hard when he's at Sharpe. He didn't have therapy yesterday due to a shortage of therapists but he'll be back friday and I get to go with so I'm really excited to see him on the bicycle! I keep telling him ill be there so he has to show me how fast he can go.
Tuesday Matt finally got his glases! I think he looks very handsome in them. I tell him he looks like a college professor. You can tell how much more Matt focuses with them on. Must be so much easier for him to see things. Yesterday they had Matt in his standing frame with his glasses on and he held his head up all by himself. He was standing for 45 minutes! He continues to hold his head and neck up more and more. Like Spencer said we need to accomplish one thing at a time, and it looks like Matt might be there with the accomplishment of holding his head up.
Something that Matt does with me that just makes My heart leap out of My chest is he'll grab My hand or arm If I look like I'm getting up to leave. He'll just look at me and grab my arm as if he was telling me don't go. Another thing he'll do is If I'm laying in bed with him ill just rest My arm by his side and he'll move his hand to mine so we can hold hands. Last night I leaned over and kissed him on his cheek and said I love you. He reached his arm up and placed his hand on My face. I swear he can read my mind. He knows everytime I need his touch. Its like he's reassuring me that everything will be ok. He knows me all too well.

January 12th,2008

2009-01-12T09:09:00.000-08:00

So today Matt will head back to Sharpe today for OT, PT and his his first day of speech therapy!! I really wish I could be there today. Matt continues to do really well on the bicycle, each time he goes longer and he goes faster. Is legs are getting really strong and its not just his right leg either. He's really pushing his left leg. His eye glasses should be arriving any day now so that will be another good thing for him as well. I really think Matt will be more responsive once he can see clearly. It must be so irritating seeing double or even triple, and try to concentrate on doing things at the same time.
As soon I get all the info from his appointment today I will write more. :)

January 8th, 2008

2009-01-08T12:25:00.000-08:00

Exciting news!! Well this year for matt has started off really good. He started back at Sharp rehab on Monday, he also had an evaluation with Kaisers speech therapy. It was a very busy day for him. Let's start with speech first...so again we were told that kaiser doesn't really have experience with patients like Matt, but she was able to give us good ideas on how to strengthen matts tongue muscles. She also said it was a good idea to continue feeding Matt through his mouth a few times a day little bits at a time. We stressed to her that sharp is able to get Matt to the next step and out of what we call the grey area (which kaiser doesn't know). Then we can take him back to speech at kaiser and they can take over. Our fingers were crossed as we continued to make our way to sharp for Pt. While we were at pt we got a call from kaiser saying Matt had been referred to sharp for speech!!!! Praise God for that! So he starts Monday!
Now with pt he's still I think getting use to the way they do things there. but he is still being responsive. in fact yesterday he rode a bicycle!! I'm sure all your mouths just dropped like mine did when his mom told me last night. What they did was pulled a bicycling machine up to his wheel chair that strapped his feet on the petals. They set it on a timer and Matt started pedaling! If he slowed down they would just tell him to speed up and keep going! And sure enough he did! He went 16 minutes of cycling! The therapists said its one thing you'll never forget how to do. His OT had him putting objects through holes in a board. He does very well with that as well as pointing out colors, pictures, numbers and also flash cards are another great way for him to identify the diffeneve between two objects.
All I can say is that Matt is in there. And everyday he's getting stronger! Never under estimate the power of God and his miracles. God has an amazing plan Matt, we just have to be patient and another time for healing.
Some things I want to share with all of you are the things Matt does everyday for us. If you hold up two shirts and ask him what one he wants to wear he points to the one he wants. If you hand him a comb and tell him to comb his hair he will. If you hand him the tooth brush and tell him to help with brushing his teeth he will. If you say goodbye he will go to shake your hand or give you knuckles. If tou lean over and give him a hug and ask him to hug you back he will lift his right arm and gig tou back. If you tell him to give you a squeeze he will. When I ask him to give me a kiss he puckers up his lower lip. He does all these amazing things! He's awake everyone! He's alert! He is still healing but...he's getting there. This is something we all wanted 9 months ago. He's giving us hope. I promised Matt the day he came into that hospital holding onto barely anything that I would do whatever it took to get him back on his feet. I won't quit on him. And he won't quit on us. I have really good feelings for 2009! Love tou Matt, forever!!

December 30th, 2008

2008-12-30T23:06:00.000-08:00

Iwanted to write a final entry for the year 2008. As this year comes to an end I am reminded of all the things that occurred throughout the year. This has been by fair the hardest and most emotional year I have ever been through. I can only hope that I will never have to go through what I went through this year. A lot of new things have been brought to my attention that I never new about. Certain issues that might have lead to Matt's decision to go home with a co-worker, his decision not to go back to our house, reasons that could explain why Matt was under so much pressure the week of his accident. It breaks my heart to even think about what Matt was going through. All the things that must have been going through his head. He was so torn, and if anyone knows Matt like myself and his parents know Matt, you would know that he lives his life for being happy, having friends, enjoying life, but that week some people who Matt cared very much for put him in a spot where he was forced to make a decision that he never wanted to make. Its truly sad to think that someones influence can ruin their future. I honestly don't know how to feel about all that I have learned, I feel betrayed, I feel hurt, and worst...I'm left with an empty feeling and a very uncertain future. One thing I do know is that I love Matt very much and I know he loves me as much as I love him. I see it in his eyes everyday when I come over to visit him. It's the way he looks at me, the way he sighs when he sees me for the first time, and it's the way he touches me when I sit by his side. I can't even begin to explain the sadness I have gone through these last nine months. The only reason why I am still standing on my two feet is because I have an amazing family and I have gained another amazing family. The Ruiz family have welcomed me into their home as a daughter. I love them so much. Without them this would not have been possible to get this far.

Going through Christmas was very difficult, it was extremely lonely. Yes, Matt was there with us but still it was so different. I missed his smile, his laugh, his humor, I missed him. You don't realize how much someone has an effect on your life until they aren't there anymore. And as some of you may know my birthday is on New Years Eve, and I have to spend it without him. I hate feeling this way. I hate feeling like a part of me is missing. I want so badly to close my eyes and have everything be okay. But this is reality and it's a little more complicated than that. All I can hope for is that 2009 will hold promising things for Matt. That's all I want. Matt deserves that. He's worked so hard to be where he is now.

I want to thank everyone for their good thoughts and their prayers for all of us. Everyone has been so supportive. I cannot wait to tell Matt about all the love and support everyone has given us through these very trialing times. I've seen how Matt has touched so many lives in his 26 years. He is truly loved by many.

Some key tips for the new year: Always say I love you to your loved ones, never take anyone for granted, keep your friends close and your enemies closer, always pray to God, learn to forgive, and learn to forget. Treasure your special moments, take lots of pictures; they last longer. Meet new people, make new friends, and travel somewhere you've never been. Don't be too serious, know when to have fun, and make sure you laugh until you cry.

Matt we will get our happy ever after ending, it might not be today, or tomorrow, or maybe not for a few years, but one day we will. I promse you that. You promised me you would always be there for me through thick and thin, and now I am promising you the same. I'll always be here. You'll always be right here in my heart. Now and forever. I love you!!!!

I hope and pray for a blessed and safe New year for everyone. May God give us all a miracle!

So long 2008!!

December 27th, 2008

2008-12-27T20:44:00.000-08:00

Matt went back to the eye doctor yesterday and had his eyes tested again. The nerve to his vision is healing. Its better than it was before. He was fitted for glasses and should get them in two weeks. His eyes are great and so are the muscles. Its the nerve from the brain to the eyes that's a little off.
I can't wait to see what a difference the glasses will make. When they put the lenses on him he responded really well as they talked to him he looked toward the direction of the voice. As before he wouldn't. So this will be exciting to see if it works.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T15:11:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! We all came down with a really bad flu last week and we are now finally all better. Just in time for Christmas.
Matts been doing really good in light of being so sick for a few days. He was only able to make it to one day at sharp due to the rain and being sick. So its kind of hard to really say how it was. Hopefully starting next week he will get back into sharp and we will be able to see what this will hold for Matts future.
As we all decorated for Christmas we were telling Matt all about it. I decorated his room with a Christmas tree, some lights, and garland. His mom decorated the house, and put lights up outside too. Unfortunately matt was too sick to come out and decorate tbr tree with the ornaments so I took his place and put his up. It was a really nice time.
Today for a lot of us is bitter sweet. We are blessed to have Matt with us but sad that he isn't talking and enjoying the wonderful time of Christmas with us. But...he was here with us and that made our day wonderful. He looks amazing. I can only hope that as a new year comes around it will hold new surprises for each of us.

December 14th,2008

2008-12-14T11:34:00.000-08:00

Sorry its been awhile but I wanted to wait for some news to share with you.
Matt has been doing really well. He continues to keep at the hard work of standing, holding his head up, and getting to know his vocal cords. Resently his parents purchased a standing frame for Matt, and it was probably the best thing ever. This device is able to get Matt standing on his own so there isn't as much stress out on his parents and Spencer. I get to see it today for the first time!
Matt is still getting to know his voice. He makes lots of noises sometimes. Its really neat to here. I'm still hoping it'll come through soon. I can't wait to here that first word. Matt is starting to eat a little bit of baby food through his mouth too! His mom will feed him mangos and he just rats it all up! His swallowing is getting so good!
His mom and dad came up with a great way to communicate with Matt too! They asked Matt to holding one finger up for tea and two fingers up for no. And he does it! Its so awesome to see and also just to be able to communicate with him! It was best because I asked him the other day if he loved me and he held up one finger. I asked him if he was going to be okay and just needef time to heal. He held one finger up and then let out a big sigh. :) If I can't hear him say I love at least I got an answer. It was a good feeling.
Even better news...Matt has been excepted to Sharp Rehab!! He starts Monday! He will be going three days a week for 3 hours each session. It will be all outpatient. Matt will still be having Spencer coming out to the house as well. Starting tomorrow Matt is going to be a very busy boy! This is so good for him though. I can't wait to see what is going to happen now with all this rehab!
Lisa decorated the house this week and I think its good for Matt to see all the decorations. I put a cute little Christmas tree up in Matts room. I'm going to finish decorating his room today. Its important to still do things normally as we would in spite of what has happened. Its hard but Matt would want it and that's all that matters.

Thanksgiving Day!!

2008-11-27T23:39:00.000-08:00

Matt gave me the best Thanksgiving Day ever! As I was sitting there on Matts bench (he was laying out on his bench)I was just talking to him and he started making noises like he was going to talk. So I kept talking to him telling him to tell me what he wanted to say. I kept saying Happy Thanksgiving Babe I love you! He would just look at me with that look like he was trying to say something, it was then I noticed he was lifting his arm up to put in on my shoulder. I leaned over and hugged him. As I did that he gave me a hug. :) But this hug also lead him to put his hand in my hair and rub my head. It was so nice. I just closed my eyes and for a second it felt like the times before. He knew exactly what I needed! Thank you Matt! I love you babe! This is only the beginning!!

November 26th, 2008

2008-11-26T11:42:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went with matt to his vision therapy. It was nice to spend time with him during the day. By the time I usually get off work and get into ramona he's usually asleep. Yesterday I saw how much he is alert and aware of what's going on. It makes me feel so good when he sees me and his face lights up. Its such a good feeling. While we were sitting in therapy I just reached out my hand to matt and he stretched his arm out to mine and grabbed my hand. If I give him a squeeze he gives me one back. He's continuing to work hard, heal, and show us new things to give us all hope.
I recently have been struggling, I've been down about some things. Unfortunately I have been surrounded by negativity. I fight those demons everyday. I know there are so many people out there that love me and just want what's best for me. The thing is, Matt is what's best for me. He is my whole life. If I didn't love him unconditionally I wouldn't be here now. He has taught me so much in these last 8 months. I cannot even imagine my life without him. The accident happened, it hurts, and there will be days that I'm going to be sad and angry, but when our eyes meet he speaks to me. He loves me and I love him. So you carry the memories of the past and hope for even better memories in the future. He'll always be Matt, no matter what. I fell in love with who he is, his heart not the worldly things. Yes there will be life adjustments, there will be trialing times, and yes there will be difficult days but even through all that I still have the love of my life and to me its all worth it.
So on this Thanksgiving day think about what you are thankful for, and what makes your life so full of love and life. I am thankful for seconds chances, new starts, matts continuous recovery, matts amazing family, my beautiful niece, and my family of course. Dad, Mom, Matt, and Cristi; I'm only here because you all have been there for me through my most difficult time. I love you all so much!
Happy thanksgiving everyone!!

Happy 2 Year Anniversary!!!

2008-11-15T21:30:00.000-08:00

Matt,
I know someday you'll read this, and I hope it'll be sooner than later. Today was our 2 year anniversary! Can you believe it?
I spent most of my day thinking back on our memories and all the fun things we have done over the past 2 years. I also thought a lot about when we first met. Our first kiss, our first movie date, everything. It put a smile on my face. Last night I brought over your present. I made you a picture poster. You just starred at it and looked at everything. I was telling you about each picture and you followed my finger to each one. One picture you smiled as I told the story of the picture to your parents. It warmed my heart to see that smile.
Matt you are my life, the minute you walked into my life I fell in love with you. You filled a spot in my heart, made me believe in love again, and showed me what a real relationship was suppose to be like. I know now more than ever that we were meant for eachother.
After the accident I was pretty much in denial. I knew it was bad but to me I saw you, I didn't see the bad parts, I only saw you. As the days turned to weeks I still kept holding on to the fact that I felt you and you were still in there. Weeks then turned to months and yes it has been hard, sometimes so incredibly lonely. But I still feel you. Maybe that's what makes it hard. I can't ever give up hope. I feel you so much! I have this burning sensation in my heart, and I know its coming from you.
Today was difficult. I won't lie. I thought a lot about what we were doing this time last year. Remember we went to the hospital in Murrieta and waited on the arrival of my baby niece? My poor sister she was in labor for hours and hours and then didn't have her till the next day! We celebrated Taylors birthday in downtown with all the friends, and then we traveled to temecula and spent the weekend at temecula creek inn just spending time together. We had a couples massage which was heavenly! Those were good times.
If feels like everything is so different now. But one thing has remained the same...our love for eachother. If anything we have gotten closer. This accident has made us insepartable. No matter how long it takes for you to heal I will be here till the end! I'll never leave Matt I promise! What's funny is that I was thinking about what all little girls say when they start asking questions to their mommys..."but how do you know its the real thing? How do you know its true love that will last forever and ever?" I'm almost 24 and I finally figured it out! When you go to sleep thinking of that person, wake up thinking of that person, every conversation you have somehow links back to that person, when your just sitting there and a smile comes across your face because his picture popped into your head, or when something tragic happens and the future is uncertain but all you want to do is be there, hold him, love him, pray for him, cry with him, and wispher "I love you, please keep holding on" that's when you know its the real thing!
The reason for writing all this is for you to be able and look back on what you missed. I want you to know every thing! I want you to know I never gave up hope. And I never will. And one day we will all sit around and talk about everything that happened while you were sleeping and healing. One day we will be together again.
I love you Matt! And I'm hoping for many more years to come. You have such a bright and beautiful future ahead of you.
I love you, I love you more, I love you most, I love you mostest, I love you mostest times infinity to the infinity power sealed with a kiss!!! I win!! :) Lindsey aka your little girl...

November 12, 2008

2008-11-12T22:30:00.000-08:00

I'm so sorry its been so long since I have posted. I was out of town for a week and of course the 1st week back to work is always hectic.
First I want to say that being away for a week opened my eyes to really see how much progress Matt continues to make everyday. I think when you are with someone everyday you don't always see how much progress they are making.
Matt continues to make progress on his left side. Its getting stronger and stronger. We continue to get him standing in his harness, we have him sitting in his chair for a few hours at a time a couple times a day too.
Just recently they had his blood tested and it came back that his iron level was low. So we are trying to figure out how to adjust his diet so that he won't be so tired all the time. Just yesterday we had his eyes tested. Turns out that he has double vision, his depth perception is off, and tracking is also off. Its really just the muscle control in his eyes. So we have a patch that we put on one eye at a time, and some different vision therapy exercises that we will continue to do with him to get his muscle control back to what it was before. The eye doctor said that the back of his eyes looked beautiful. No damage! So that was relieving! Once she started playing around with different lenses and seeing what Matt's reaction would be, it became a lot easier for Matt to track and follow directions as far as following your finger, voice and so on. His parents said it was really amazing seeing Matt do these things. I'm hoping that as his muscles gain strength it will make physical therapy in general a lot easier. Everything will be so much more clear.
I recently just read a book by Nicholas Sparks called "The Choice". It literally is the story of Matt and I. Blew my mind away. I was in the Chicago airport last week killing time before my flight and I wandered into a bookstore. It was there that I picked this book up and decided to buy it and read it on my way home. Its quite amazing how God will put things into your life at just the right time. I had absolutely no idea this book would walk me down memory lane and show me there is light at the end of the tunnel. The one question that the writer kept writing in each chapter was "how far would you go to keep the hope of love alive?"I guess that's a question that goes through my mind everyday. And my answer is this: I will fight till the end. I will never give up hope that one day I will get the love of my life back. Yes, times right now are uncertain and hard, but our love has gotten us through the hardest parts so far. Our love has given him and I strength to get through another day. I know one day he will call out to me, he will speak, he will walk again, he will smile and laugh, he will return to us all. I can't ever give up hope.
I Say this all the time but Matt is a fighter. He always will be. He's in there and he's waiting for us to come and get him. He does not want is to give up hope.
I am truly not looking forward to the holiday season. It will be very different and hard on all of us. Matt always loved the holidays. We put our first Christmas tree up last year together. I put my stocking up, his stocking up, and Riley's (our dog) up on the mantel on the fire place. I took so much pride in the decorations and how Nice the house looked. I felt like we were a family. So even though he might not be all there for this holiday season I have decided to go forth with everything I would do as if everything were normal. That's what Matt would want. And who knows maybe ill get my Christmas wish. Just maybe.

The important thing to remember is that Matt struggles everyday trying to get to us. He's trying to build his strength and heal all at the same time. He needs all of our love and support to help him through this. He needs your continued prayers, and positive thoughts. As we all do coming into the holiday season. Non of us can do this alone.

So with all that said I will leave you with this quote; "Learn from Yesterday, Live for Today, Hope For Tomorrow."

October 28th, 2008

2008-10-28T06:01:00.001-07:00

Tonight was a very special moment for me. I was visiting with matt and as I was sitting on his bed talking closely to him. I was telling him that today was seven months since his accident and he was doing amazing! I was telling him about all his progress and what he needs to continue working on. He just starred at me intently. You could really tell he was listen to what I was saying. I continued talking to him telling him our two year anniversary was coming up and he slowly put his arm around my back and have me a squeeze. I told him I loved him and he started to rub my back. :) it was a good feeling. Have me butterflies in my stomach. I just laid my head down on his chest and fell asleep for a few minutes. In that few minutes everything felt normal. He has ways to letting me know he loves me! I feel so lucky to have him in my life!
Please help me and his family with praying for matt to start talking! I know all I want for Christmas is to hear matts laugh and for him to be able to sit around at the dinner table and have a conversation with us all for the holidays! It would be such a great way to end a very intense and crazy year.

October 26th, 2008

2008-10-26T17:49:00.000-07:00

Everyday I am more and more amazed by the things that Matt does. The last few days I've noticed something different about him. He looks different, I can't put my figure on it but somethings changed. I feel like he's more here ith me now than he has been since this happened. I walk in and I just see him, I can feel him, he's more alert. I got this flutter in my heart and stomach the other night while Matt was looking at me. It was such a good feeling. Sometimes I close my eyes and I lay my head on his chest and I just listen to his heart beat. It reminds me he's still there, still fighting to get back to me. Everyone said that the first few months would be the hardest, but no one told me how hard it would be now. Its been 7 months! Going 7 months without talking with him, laughing with him, sharing my day with him, and watching our love grow has been such a difficult time for me. Everything reminds me of him. When you find your soul mate you never want to spend a minute without them.

October 21st, 2008

2008-10-22T22:50:00.000-07:00

Since my last entry Matt has continued to make amazing progress. He's moving his left side so much more. Its truely amazing! Everyday he works harder and harder at getting back everything he once had. He's able to do things with his left side now that he wasn't able to do before. He's also making a lot more noise. I swear one of these days he's just going to blurt it out! And I can't wait to hear that voice!! He knows its in there he just has to keep working at it.
To see Matt stick his tongue out past his lip now, and to see him moving is left arm on command, and to see him being more relaxed and not so stressed is such a good feeling. It helps so much! Its Matt reminding us that he is still here and to not give up yet! So we aren't! He amazes me each day and makes me fall in love all over again! Please keep the prayers coming. He feels them I know he does!

October 13th, 2008

2008-10-13T23:38:00.000-07:00

Today Matt had another therapy session and he did great things! Matt is really starting to use his left hand, arm, and leg. I was unable to attend his session due to work but to hear this put a huge smile on my face. Its so comforting to see him still making progress. He hasn't had any movement with the left side like he has his right side. Spencer says its because most of his damage is on the right side of his brain. But now with him starting to move his left side...this is huge! I pray every night for Gods hand to be placed on Matts brain. For healing and recovery. I know that's what he's doing. He's healing my baby.
Matt has also been making a lot of noises. We are hoping this means he is working on speaking! Wouldn't that be great! That would be an answer in itself.his dad has been putting matts hand up to his throat and humming. He has matt feel his voice and then asks him to try and do the same thing. If you put your fingers over his throat you will feel a small vibration. Its very exciting! So keep your fingers crossed! Its coming!

October 12, 2008

2008-10-12T20:01:00.000-07:00

Matt continues to make progress everyday. He had three days in a row with Spencer his physical therapist this week so he's a little tuckered out. But he continues to do proposeful movements which is a great sign. For example: Spencer will take a foam board and drop it toward Matt's face and head, he'll tell Matt to put his hand out and stop it. As the board omes down Matt puts his hand up and pushes it away so it doesn't hit him. Another example would be if you pull his chest hair he'll bring his hand up and push your hand away. I have noticed that he's doing these things alot more. If you do something that Matt doesn't like he'll push you away. This is really good that he has been able to gain that back. It's very important in Matt's recovery process that he regains control of these things. Proposeful movement shows that Matt's brain is able to recall some things and be able to send the message from the brain to his hand.
Matt seems to be more comfortable in his wheelchair now too. He's able to stay in it for long hours at a time. He seems a lot more comfortable in this chair than his other one he had. His parents also found a van now too. They should be getting it this week sometime. The shower chair is so much easier to use and it is way more comfortable for Matt. He just relaxes so much more in the chair.
All I can ask from everyone is to continue to pray for more healing. This is a very slow process but baby steps are still huge for all of us. He's getting there but he still needs all the good thoughts, prayers and love.

The Tournament

2008-10-05T10:23:00.000-07:00

Today's blog is all about thanking everyone who came out and supported Matt and his family yesterday. I can't extend my thanks enough to everyone who participated, helped out, and sponsored. I was so pleased to see everyone come out and support this cause. It made me realize how special I am to be in his life. He is truly a loved guy. We were able to raise alot of money for Matt and now will be able to give him more Physical Therapy.
It was such an amazing feeling to watch everyone take off in their carts and go out to the greens. Everyone was so pumped up, excited and happy to be there. Everyone kept telling me how much fun they were having! That just put a smile on my face. I am so glad that everyone had such a great time!
So thank you to everyone from the bottom of my heart!!! Yesterday was an amazing day! And it's all because of you guys coming out to support him.

6 Months

2008-10-01T19:15:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's been awhile. I have been extremely busy getting everything together for the golf tournament this weekend. I'm very excited about the turn out and can't wait to see everyone there. SO thank you to everyone who is participating in one way or another. This is truly been a blessing seeing everyone come together for him.
As for Matt's progress, he's been doing so great. Learning new things, moving his left side more, his attention span. It's just been amazing. They have the hoist set up in the back yard. I haven't been lucky enough to see this yet but I hear it's absolutely amazing! Matt was standing the other day for quite a while. He's able to hold his head up and feel his whole body's weight by doing this. He's done this I believe 3 times now. Matt's memory seems to be getting better with time too. Like he did what we call knuckles (kinda like a high five only with your fist), he does the hang ten sign, sometimes I'll see him lift his hand up to almost waive goodbye when I leave. He's been taking the white board pen and holding it up to the board and scribbling on it. He'll do that for a while and then he'll get frustrated and push the pen up against the white board and wait for you to take the pen. When you grab the pen he lets go and returns his hand back to the bed. He's so focused when he does this too! He recently has been getting this look on his face as if he is really trying hard to say something but the words just don't come out. You can really see Matt is putting all of his concentration and energy into his therapy sessions.
Yesterday Matt finally got his custom wheel chair and his shower chair. This will make Matt alot more comfortable when we have him out of his bed and out in the front rooms with us. The wheelchair is more open, where as the cardiac chair was more closed in. And the shower chair! Well that will make it so much easier on Mario and Lisa. They wont have to carry him from one chair to the next. We now can just roll the shower chair right into the shower. This will be ten times more safe for everyone. It's kind of hard for me to see Matt in the wheelchair just because it's so custom to Matt's needs. It has a high neck to support his head and well it just doesn't look like a regular wheelchair. I know Matt will only need this chair for a while and its nothing that he'll need forever. The reality of all of this is something I never thought I would ever have to endure.
With it being six months in now, I have seen such great improvement in Matt's brain and the healing that is taking place. It's truly amazing how the brain can heal itself over time, but we all know that Matt has the hand of God on him and has this whole time. I just pray and hope that in the next six months Matt will continue to heal, recover, and keep moving forward to being 100%. I know we all feel this way. It's hard to not get excited at the possibilities of a bright future when you see Matt do the things he does. I get so excited and hope he just snaps out of it and tells me he loves me, and gives me a big kiss!! I hope for that everyday. We all have to keep thinking positive thoughts and keep cheering him on. He needs us to support him everyday, through every obstacle. We are what keeps Matt going. We are his future. He fights to live not just for his family, or me, or himself, but he fights for everyone one in his life. My favorite part of the day or really night is when I get home from work and he sees me for the first time. I'll crawl into bed with him and just lay next to him and cuddle up to him. He'll just put his head on my shoulder and cuddle right back. =) That reminds me that he's in there, he's just healing and it might be awhile.
Someone asked me the other day if I was happy, if I was happy with the way I was living my life by holding on to something I might never get back. You know I didn't really have to think about it before I answered. I am happy. I wouldn't change anything. I feel as though this happened for a reason, no one will ever know why it happened, but this has helped me become who I am today. It's helped me love, learn, grow, and most importantly forgive. We don't know why things happen, but instead of letting it tear our whole lives apart, let the things that happen in your life teach you something. The most important thing this has taught me is to never take what you have for granted, always say whats on your heart, never walk away, and most importantly always tell the person you love, that you love them with all your heart, because you never know when something or someone will take them away from you. Don't sweat the small stuff, because tomorrow is another day.

Another Great Day

2008-09-21T20:52:00.000-07:00

Today Matt had another 3 hours of physical therapy. It was another successful day. He did something new today too so that was very exciting. Matt was able to lift his arm up to grab and touch. Normally he moves his arm and hand from side to side but to actually lift it up to the ceiling is a little harder. But today he was able to do it, and once he got the hang of it he just kept lifting his arm up. It was really neat. We also gave him a small basketball and held the hoop out in front of him and told him to put the ball in the hoop. He did! He's really doing well with the commands and following through with what we ask him to do.
After that we got him onto his bench and had him sitting up. Once he was sitting Matt just held his head up and was able to balance himself. With no help. We had he standing too and he's getting so much better with his posture and holding his head up high when he's standing. He looked so good today standing up. He was so tall! Matt is also really starting to put more pressure on his left foot now too. His left side is a little slower than his right, the left side also does not have as much sensation as the right. It is getting a little better but his right side will do whatever you want it to.

Continuing to make progress

2008-09-19T23:21:00.000-07:00

So the last entry I wrote was pretty exciting right? Well I have even better news today! Two days ago Matt's PT sat him up and when he sat up and got his balancehe helf his head up on his own and was able to sit there by himself with no help! So his PT and his mom decided to see if Matt could turn his head from side to side. So they tried...and...he did it. This is the first time Matt has turned his head on command while sitting up. So awesome! Okay so to me that's pretty amazing and you would think he wold be pretty tired after all that right? Well not quite yet. After they put Matt back to bed he was moving his hands around and moving his fingers alot. So they gave him a water bottle to see what he would do with it. They asked him to try and unscrew the water bottle cap. So Matt went to unscrew it. He was successful! so then they asked him to screw it back on, again he was successful! Can you believe it? Because I cant! I can't believe how well he's doing. It seems like just yeterday we were in the hospital being told this was it. But here we are a few weeks out of the hospital and Matt is performing on command, moving around, standing, sitting, using his hands, holding his head up, that hospital couldn't have been more wrong about Matt and what he was capable of doing. Like I said before Matt is going to blow us all away. He will go down in the history books as one of the most strongest fighters in the world. He is a miracle. God had plans for him, and all I know is that God is in control of this situation, not anyone else.
I look forward to every new day that comes becuase Matt continues to show us new things every single day. It's like that song, "I don't want to close my eyes, I don't want to fall asleep, and I don't want to miss a thing." It's hard leaving him becuase I really don't want to miss anything new. I'm so proud of him! I know I say that alot but I truly am.
On a personal note, it'a so amazing seeing Matt work so hard at all these things. We are able to do these things everyday but we take advantage of them. I realized that if you just take a few minutes out of your day to think about everything that you have in your life and the things you are able to do, you will realize life isn't as bad as we might think. Be thankful for being able to get out of bed everyday, to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner and to eat whatever we want, to drive a car, to yell, scream and cry when we want, to speak whats on our mind and most importantly to say I love you to the ones we hold closest to our hearts. Before this accident I used to sweat the small stuff. Now, I don't think anything could ever get to me or bother me, because nothing will ever be as bad as it was on March 28th. Even now there are days when I think, how am I going to get through another day? And then I think about what Matt must be thinking. How frustrating it must be to be locked up inside your body not being able to communicate with others around you. Wanting so badly to speak and get out of bed. So if Matt can get through another day so can I and so can everyone else.
Matt is my inspiration.

What an amazing feeling!

2008-09-15T23:57:00.000-07:00

I don't have a lot to speak about today. But I did want to share something that happened today. Matt gave me something that I have been waiting 6 months for! Matt gave me a hug today! It was the best feeling in the world. I was leaning my head on his chest just talking to him when I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him. He then wrapped his arm around my back and gave me a squeeze. =) I was so surprised and excited that I just started crying. I was so happy. When Matt saw me crying he then took his hand and started rubbing my back. He had this look on his face like if he could talk it would be to tell me "don't cry." I can't even begin to explain how amazing that feeling was. I wanted to freeze time right then and there. I'll never forget that moment. It's crazy how after going so many months without someone touch or hearing their voice can affect you. Just with his slight touch today I felt like I was floating. It's amazing how just one touch can make you fall in love all over again.

The things that Matt has been doing and will continue to do is such a blessing for his family and I. There is so much relief that is lifted when we see such progress. It's helps so much to see Matt continue to do things and get stronger an stronger with each new day. The way his brain is healing is truly amazing and an answer to prayer. We all have so much hope for Matt and our future. Thank you so much for the continued prayers for us all. Matt is getting there, it's slow, but he's healing. Keep the positive thoughts coming! =)

HE's doing AMAZING!!!

2008-09-14T21:12:00.000-07:00

Today Matt blew us all away! He is doing so much. We have been working so hard to get Matt to listen to commands and follow them. And he does. His mom started asking him to do things like open your hand, close your hand, take this from me, give it back, touch this, touch that. It was amazing! He did all those things. Once I got there I started asking him to do things, like touch my hand, face, nose. He did, it was almost breath taking. I just couldn't believe he was doing all these things. He's only had 7 sessions with his physical therapist and he's doing all these things!! I never thought he would be doing all this so fast and so soon. It's amazing. When I ask Matt to open his hand and he does it, or when I ask him to touch his nose and he his lifts his hand up to his nose. Or when I ask him to take something out of my hand and he does, then I ask him to give it back to me and he does. Awww!!! I'm speechless! I can't even begin to explain how good this feels. He looks so different, he looks like he knows hes doing good things.
Another thing he was doing tonight was swallowing water from his mouth. His mom was giving him a spoon that was dipped in a cup of water and putting the spoon in his mouth. Matt opened his mouth for the spoon and swallowed the water. He did this a lot. For one this is a good thing because he's swallowing and pushing his tongue back to push down the water. He wasn't biting the spoon when we put it in his mouth, and he drank quite a bit of water. This is a really good thing that he's swallowing on command, and listening to commands. Matt's coming along. He's doing it! He's really doing it. I'm seriously the proudest girlfriend right now. My biggest goal right now is to get him to be able to speak and move around on his own by Christmas. I know that is all everyone in this house wants. We just want Matt. It would be the greatest gift of all.

September 11, 2008

2008-09-11T21:19:00.000-07:00

First I would just like to pay tribute to all the fallen hero's of 9/11/01. To all of their families and friends you are in my prayers today. Its been 7 Years but you will never be forgotten.

Matt showed his Mom and the PT nurse from Kaiser just how well he is coming along. Today his mom was holding a tissue in her hand and Matt grabbed the tissue out of her hand and just held onto it. So his mom thought well lets see what else you will grab. So she put a comb in her hand and told Matt to take to comb. He did, and he then continued to put it up to his head and comb his hair!!! Yes you read correctly he was combing his hair today. Now remember this is someone who was told that he would never wake up out of his coma, and if he did he would be a vegetable. Well guess what?! Matt is showing everyone just how wrong they all were. Even when Matt is having his teeth brushed he goes after the tooth brush and holds on to it. His Outside PT has told us that the things that Matt is doing shows that where his brain was damaged the neuron's around it are trying to figure a way to work their way around it and start doing the functions that part used to do. That means that Matt's brain is healing. It's been 51/2 months and we are already starting to see great healing in progress. It was the best phone call I could have gotten today. Hearing that Matt was combing his hair and he was able to continue to do it more than just once is such a huge step! Everything is baby steps but to me this is huge! This week he's combing his hair, next week who knows what he'll be doing. There was something different about the way he looked today too. I don't know maybe it was that he knew he had accomplished something so great today, maybe it was the excitement on all of our faces, maybe it was just satisfaction on his part. But whatever it was...it was good. I saw a different Matt today, I saw his personality come through tonight as I walked through that door. Nothing is ever to big to get through. I think Matt has shown everyone that.

*Keep Fighting to get to that point Matt!!! We are all here by your side, we love you more than you will ever know*

Okay here's a reminder for all you last minute people...

Matt's Tournament is 3 weeks away!!!! If you want to play you need to let me know ASAP! If you want to donate please mail me the donation. Make checks payable to Matt Ruiz. My address is 24005 Nectar Way Ramona 92065. If you want to sponsor a hole for the tournament please let me know ASAP! I need to have signs made for each hole. If you can't get me the money by this Saturday that is okay I just need to know who's playing. I will need names of each player.

Don't wait to long to sign up. It's going to be a lot of fun and you know you don't want to miss out on this!!!! Thank you again for all the help, donations, sponsors, and players!!!

Remember everything is going to Matt, his equipment, and his care.

September 8th, 2008

2008-09-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

Today Matt had a visit from a speech therapist. We were able to find out what we should do and how we should do it. It was good to hear from an actual specialist about Matt's progress. He continues to make such great progress everyday, but to hear it from someone that actually works in the field daily, is so encouraging. She had him sticking his tongue out and touching it with a spoon. Matt listened to the command and then did it for her. She was able to move the spoon back a little further from his mouth and he still was able to touch the soon. Another exercise we can start doing with him is using a large flash card. One side will say yes and one will say no. Then you ask him a question and tell him to look at the yes side or the no side. First you want to introduce the cards to him and get him to recognize which one is yes and which one is no. Matt was able to look at both cards as she point to each one. If we continue to do this exercise with him he should be able to soon just look right at the yes or no with our command. So now we have two different speech therapists and two different physical therapists.
Matt has responded so well to his physical therapy. I can't believe how well he continues to do. Yesterday the therapist had Matt lifting his arm all the way to the ceiling. He asked Matt to lift his arm up and Matt did it. It was very exciting. He gets Matt to do things all the time. It is so awesome. He gets Matt to sit up and stand up. (With his help of course. Its about 20% Matt and 80% therapist) He's been trying to get Matt to hold himself up. We are just waiting to hear Matt scream out a bad word because Matt works so hard and he moans and groans doing his exercising. He gets mad a lot but you can see its because those parts of his body haven't been worked in a long time. He's just sore and tired. But he does such a great job keeping up with what he wants him to do. We are so proud of Matt. He is such a strong person.
As we head into another week I am holding onto hope that with another three days of physical therapy Matt will continue to do new things and continue to amaze us all.
Everyday is a new day. And we will take one day at a time.

September 1st, 2008

2008-09-01T20:57:00.000-07:00

Well its a new month and of course with a new month Matt has to give us something new like always. Tonight I was just talking to Matt while he was sitting in his chair in the dining room, he did something that I just can't even remember and I said "cool Matt, give me a high five." not even thinking he would do it but I just said it and put my hand up. Well to all of our surprise Matt brought his hand up and gave me a high five!!! Praise God right!? It was crazy! I totally had to do a double take! Never did I think he would do it, or even that fast. It was amazing! Couldn't believe my eyes. But even better I did it again and again and again and he still continued to do it! It just stayed in his brain and he continued to remember what he was doing! Thats huge!
Its the little things, he pays so much attention to things we say and do. He files it away and remembers it later. This is another great step in his recovery process! We all just have to keep giving him stimulation and confidence that he can do this!
Everyday he seems to be more alert and focused. You see it when you talk to him. He just intently listens. If you say a joke or laugh you'll sometimes see him give a half smile. Its really neat to see. Everyday is one step closer. Especially with this new therapist. I am so excited to see what he£ll do next with him. Ive seen a huge difference in Matt since his therapist worked with him! This is what Matt needed a long time ago, but everyone in the hospital kept saying he wasn't ready. Well guess what? He was and still is ready! I said a long time ago he was going to be everyones living beathing miracle, and he will prove all those medical books wrong. Well watch out! Like his dad said tonight, Matt always wanted to be Superman when he was younger...I think Matt is going to get his chance. : )

tournament and sponsor reminder!

2008-08-30T20:51:00.001-07:00

Alrightt golfers and sponsors!! We are just about a month away from the tournament and its time to start getting things together. Matt needs all of your help so here's your chance to give back for a wonderful person that has given so much to all of us! We need sponsors for the holes and donations of any kind. Everything and anything helps. The more we can raise the better treatment and care matt will get, and that means the sooner we will have him with us all again! You can sponsor a hole at a minimum of $75 or if you have a business that can donate for the raffle that would be wonderful as well. You can come and play in Matts tournament on October 4th for only $90, or if you don't play golf but want to help out you can also donate to Matts recovery. Please make all checks payable to Matt Ruiz and in the memo please put what its for. Example: if its a deposit for golfing out deposit, if its a donation write donation, if its for sponsoring a hole write sponser.
Places where you can sign up to play are at Ramona Lutheran church/school, Spirit of Joy church, San Vicente Pro Shop, email me at lrsmith31@yahoo.com, or you can always call my cell number 760-484-2767. I would like to have the $45 deposit by September 13th. You can mail the deposits, donations and or sponsorships to my home address at 24005 Nectar Way ramona, 92065.
Thank you to everyone that has signed up and gotten your deposits in. Also thank you to everyone who has donated to the raffle and offered your services the day of the tournament. Every little bit helps.
Thanks again for the support,
Lindsey Smith

best day ever! August 30th, 2008

2008-08-30T20:51:00.000-07:00

Today matt had his first visit from his therapists that his parents hired outside of his insurance. This guy was an answer to all of our prayers!! He is proactive, to the point, hard working, and aggressive. Everything that Matt needs. He stretched out Matt and got him to loosen up. Matt seemed so relieved to have his body stretched out like that. You could just see it on his face. His therapist also buy Matt in shoes and socks and say him up out of bed! To see matt sitting up out of bed with clothes and shoes on was overwhelming. I couldn't help but let my tears stream down my face. I was so happy to see Matt like that. Its Been so long since I've seen him like that. Matt did so well too. He handled all of the things he was having him do. The longer matt was out of bed the more relaxed he became. After he was sitting for a while he lifted Matt up to his feet and had Matt standing! It was just the most wonderful feeling of excitement! He looked so good, he was doing so good. Seeing Matt standing up was all I needed to see and know that Matt is still fighting to get better. I don't even know how to describe everything that happened today. All I know is that I got goose bumps, and a wonderful feeling!
He tolerated so much today and was such a good sport. Next week the therapist will come 3 times a weeks for 2-3 hours a session. This is so encouraging! I can't wait to see what the next couple of weeks will bring us! Matt is on his way to recovery. :)

August 28th, 2008

2008-08-28T20:48:00.000-07:00

Well Matt is home. Its going to take a while to get into a routine but so far so good. Lisa, his mom is taking full time care of him and doing an amazing job. Matt seems a lot more relaxed now that he is home. He has the comfort of his family, dogs, and friends everyday. So much better than being in a hospital room 24/7.
Its nice to have him at home and not have to waste so much time in the day driving. Its also nice not driving back to ramona at 1am in the morning! I think this move was the best thing for all of us. I can definitely see a difference in everyone. We don't have all the stress that we had before.
The outside therapist that his parents hired will be out on Saturday for his first visit with matt. Hopefully ill have More information for everyone then. Matt has continued to work hard at his exercising though. He's getting buff! :)there is definitely a lot of changes in him since a week ago. So he's moving in the right direction.

August 25th, 2008

2008-08-25T11:10:00.000-07:00

Matts coming home today!!! He's getting released this afternoon! Thank you God! Five months and he's finally coming home! I can't even begin to express how I feel right now. Someone pinch me because it doesn't feel real!
I really want to share with you something that his mom, dad and I all got to witness last night. I started noticing a few days ago that matt has become really aware to touch and feeling. So I was touching his fingers and workinging his fingers when he started doing the same thing. He was mimicing me and what I was doing. So I then touched his hand and told him that was his hand and to touch his hand. He did. I then touched his wrist and arm and told him to touch his arm. He did that. I touched his chest and rubbed his chest, told him to do that as well. And he did! I told him to touch his neck and face and he did that as well. When he went to touch his face he pulled his head off the bed to reach for his hand. I also moved my fingers in front of him and told him to look at his hand and move his fingers, he did. I told him to move his move his mouth and use his words. I moved my mouth and pointed to my lips for him to concentrate on them. He did this as well. Not words but he was moving his mouth. He was trying. Is that not the most amazing thing?! I wanted to just squeeze him and yell! I am so proud of him! He really didn't have that much of a delay either.
Later that night I tried the touching thing again. I asked him to touch my lips and feel them move as I talked. He brought his finger up to my lips and touched my mouth. I asked him to touch my face, he moved his fingers to my face. It was amazing! It was an answer to five months of prayers! Last but not least I ask him to point at me if I loved him. I said do I love you, who loves you, point at me if you know I love you. He opened his fingers and points his index finger at me!
I don't even know if I can ever put into words how I felt last night. What he did was something that a lot of people tbought he would never ever do again. But he has done it! He's coming back to us. He's really going to come back to us. I never thought I would be so satisfied with just this but I am! Because its matts personality coming out. Its him. And now he's coming home. :)

I love you this much! August 23rd, 2008

2008-08-23T19:12:00.000-07:00

I love you this much...
Enough to do anything for you~ give my life, heart, and soul to you.
Enough to want to protect you, care for you, hold you, and comfort you.
Enough to share all my dreams, fears, and hopes with you.
Enough to miss you incredibly when we're apart.
Enough to spend the rest of my life with you.
~Lisa M. Thomas

Matt when I saw this quote, I thought of us. Each saying had something to do with us and the unfortunate accident that has happened.
If I could I would trade places with you. If I could have I would have protected you from this harm, I couldn't so instead I will care for you, hold you and comfort you each day until you get better. My dreams came true the day we met, my fears came true the day I thought that I had lost you, and my hope is for a bright future. I've been missing you everyday since you have been gone, But we are not apart because I am always with you.
And well, you know since day one I've wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. If I have to I'll wait forever.You would be worth it.
I keep hoping that one day you will read this and know just how much I love you. I sure hope you know now as you lay there in the hospital. My heart has never left you and it never will. Keep fighting for your bright future Matt! I love you. And one day we will be together again.

August 23, 2008

2008-08-23T18:48:00.000-07:00

Well we were suppose to take matt home yesterday but unfortunately his blood level wasn't where it needed to be. So we are still here. Good news is that they should get this controlled by Monday and send him home either Monday or Tuesday. Crossing my fingers!
We have everything ready at home for him so now its just waiting for him. We are all on the same page that by bringing matt home he will continue to make progress. We will have a therapist come out to the house and work with him as well as us each day.
Matt has continued to show great signs of enprovement.He moves his legs and arms, he has a strong cough, he sneezes and burps. He does so many natural things now. Its really encouraging. Everything in his brain is starting to come back together and heal. It will be a slow process but at least he's moving in the right direction. If this keeps up then matt will be on his way to a miracle recovery.
Keep your prayers going as we try and bring him home.

Golf Tournament!!!

2008-08-17T20:14:00.000-07:00

Don't forget to sign up to play in matts golf tournament! Its going to be a lot of fun. Golf, sun, drinks, food,raffle, prizes, friends, and its all for matt! How can you not want to come out and play?
Send your deposit to me 24005 nectar way ramona, CA 92065.

August 17th, 2008

2008-08-17T19:58:00.000-07:00

Matt continues to amaze us! Today his mom was exercising him and asked him to touch his chin. Slowly he moved his finger to his chin. He did that a few times I guess. His dad was stretching his legs and asked him to push back, slowly he pushed his leg back. Everyday when matt sleeps he repositions himself. Its amazing to watch because it looks like matts just Napping. They had him sittig up in his chair for over 2 hours. He also was holding his head up on his own for over an hour. Tonight when I walked in he was sleeping and when I said hi and kissed his forehead, I startled him. Its so good to see him improving each day.
Matts hospital bed will be delivered on Thursday. And hopefully this week we will hear back from sharp or kaiser about his evaluation.
Continue your prayers during this week for good news from these hospitals.

August 15th, 2008

2008-08-15T08:40:00.000-07:00

What an answer to prayers! Yesterday a sharp rehab doctor came in to evaluate matt again. Someone came 3 weeks ago. Only this time matt performed incredibly!!! Everything this doctor asked matt to do, he did it! For example, he asked him to put his arm out, to stick out his tongue, hold a finger up, and he did it all! Can we all just jump up and down because I have never been so proud of him! Take that palomar and kaiser doctors!
Also another great thing is that for the first time in almost 5 months, a doctor that works with brain injury patients actually told us that matt is not in a vegetative state! That he's in there he just needs more time to heal! But he said matt has made great progress since the last time they were in. Finally some good news! I have waited so long to hear those words! I've always had faith that he was in there and he just needed time but to hear it from an actual doctor, that's so comforting!
So now this doctor is going to recommend us for going to sharp to learn what we have to do to get matt where he needs to be to go to a rehab center. We aren't professionals but with the right training we will know how to get matt to that next step. We might not have him home yet but that was the best news we could have ever gotten!
Also happy birthday to Lisa (matts mom) from matt and I! He'll be home soon!

August 12th, 2008

2008-08-13T00:54:00.000-07:00

Something that is comforting is the fact that matt and I have a schedule. He knows that I come every night and I haven't missed one day since March 28th. He expects me to be there at least by 10 if not a few minutes after that. Only tonight was different, I was late. I got stuck at work.I didn't get there until after 1030. He was stressed. His nurse said he must have been missing me because once I got there and he saw that I was there he relaxed. There is one more step. Its memory, feelings, and anticipation. He's gotten into a routine. His brain is healing. With time it will all come cack. That is why I am still standing. Its like he knows right when I need a lift. He knows how to tell me in his way to keep trusting. How can I not?
Its amazing how you can cominicate through the heart. The one thing that I can put my life on is that matt is where he is due to all the love coming from everyone. Having love ones around him everyday is what keeps him fighting.

August 10th, 2008

2008-08-11T00:46:00.000-07:00

Matt did the most incredible thing tonight! He was lifting his right leg up and down while sitting in his wheelchair outside! His dad was doing range of motion with his legs and when he stopped Matt continueed doing it. We were yelling him to lift his leg and do the same thing as his dad was doing. He did for 5 to 10 minutes! Also he was sitting up in a wheelchair for over 2 hours! It was amazing! I wish I had a video camera because I want to show Matt how well he is doing!
Cross your fingers and hope that we will take him home this week. His parents will be going to orange county to look at a van that might possibly fit matts needs. Bringing him home would be such an answer to all of our prayers. To be able to get Matt in a shower, hang out around the house, smell his moms cooking, doing exercises in their pool, it will be great! We will all be able to relax and enjoy the end of summer.
The message in church was about feeling the holy spirit answer before that event even happens or how He gives you spiritual advice on how to make a decision. God had a plan on the 28th of March. It wasn't our plan but he was in control and he always was in control. We don't know why certain situations happen but if we know God is in control that will help ease our minds. God will never give us more than we can handle. It might feel like he does at times but he knows just how much we each can handle. You'd be surprised how much you can really handle, trust me I was and still am!
If I can bring comfort to anyone of you out there trust me when I tell you Matt is the most strongest person! I see it in him everyday. He fights to be back with us. One day he will. Even from the first time I stepped into that room on the 6th floor and I saw Matt, he was there. He was hurt, in a coma, and there were a lot of tubes but I felt his heart. He never left us. Ive always had a good feeling about this whole tragic event.
So to everyone out there that has been praying for Matt, me, his family thank you from the bottom of my heart.

August 8th, 2008

2008-08-08T18:39:00.000-07:00

Well today was an interesting day. Wonderful kaiser again screws things up. Speech therapy came in and was feeding him Italian ice with a plastic spoon! Matt bit down on it and broke the spoon. He swallowed part of the spoon! So they had to get a doctor in right away to make sure it didn't get sucked into his lungs.thank God it did not. We then had to take him to gastro and stick a tube down his throat to see if there was anything in his stomach. They had to numb his throat with a spray and insert an IV just in case they found something and had to act quickly. They found nothing. So that means either it has passed through his stomach and he'll just pass it through or when they suctioned him earlier they sucked it out without knowing. Either way they put him through a lot today and it never should have happened! We have to get him out of there! They don't know how to take care of their patients.
Matt has come so far and they aren't helping us move forward.
Good news through! His wheel chair is being made and kaiser is going to give him a really nice shower chair which normally they don't cover. We just need a bed now. Then we will be all set to bring him home. Also his parents found a speech therapist that will come out to their home and work with Matt! I'm very excited about this!
There will be a link on matts other blog about signing a petition to the govoner. Please try and sign your name to it.

August 6th, 2008

2008-08-06T23:44:00.001-07:00

Today was a difficult day. Not for Matt but for me. Matt's story was aired on channel 10 news this evening. It was great except I saw Matt's accident scene for the first time. Honestly I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I couldn't breathe. I guess I always thought about what it would look like but never could i have ever been perpared for what it actually looked like. For those of you that do not have faith I hope you do now. Matt is a living, breathing miracle. God has put him here for a pupose.

I have to say that I was pretty down after I saw everything but then I looked at Matt and saw that he's right there. He's not where he was four months ago. He's come so far. Matt will show you if you give him time to show you, that he is in there and he's not giving up. He's a fighter and there's no way he'll give up now. Just tonight I sat on his bed and told him that I loved him and I believed in him. I told him I knew he would get through this. He starred at me with those big brown eyes and I knew that was his way of letting me know it's all okay. I asked him to just give me a noise, a sound, anything. I just wanted to hear his voice. He started moving his mouth and tongue. He was trying to talk. It was very obvious. He then let out a big sigh. Again I worked with him and told him to lift his head up and hold his head up from the pillow. Within 30 secconds Matt was lifting his head and holding it up. Again I worked with him only this time it was with his hands. I opened his hand and told him to relax, he did. I put my hand in his and told him to hold my hand. I was not holding his hand I just had my hand on top on his. I kept repeating myself telling him to hold my hand. Matt then grabbed my hand and held it. I then told him to squeeze my hand, he did that, then to squeeze it as hard as he could, and he did that! And let me tell you he is a strong boy!!

If Matt can do all of these things for me, his parents, etc. then why can't kaiser give him a chance at rehab? one way or the other Matt will get everything he needs. He's worth every cent! I just wish kaiser would see what I see. I wish they would get him the care he needs. Its not fair that they are just giving up on him.
As soon as we can we are bringing Matt home. Where he will be comfortable and where we can get him to the point where he can go to sharp or another rehab place. Please keep praying for some kind of miracle with kaiser.

August 1st, 2008

2008-07-31T20:53:00.000-07:00

Here we are in a new month. Can't believe its all ready August!Matt ended July by getting a bigger feeding tube. So now it won't be so hard getting his food and water through that tiny tiny hole. It wasn't the best experience for Matt unfortunately. We now know that Matt can feel pain and everything! Not the way we wanted to find out, but being at kaiser we don't always get what we want.
If there's one thing to pray for its to get Matt out of kaiser! Its time, For him especially. He needs special care and he's not geting it there. Matt needs rehab, he needs a place that will help him get back on his feet. The doctors there are just not doing it. He's had some amazing nurses but the doctors and speech therapy-not so much.
Each day Matt contiues to be more alert. He knows what's going on around him and what people are saying. He's inside there its just taking some time to get out. We all have to continue to be strong and hope for the very best. Only him and God know when it will be time. Remember, its Gods timing, not ours.
Also if anyone is wondering why I am holding this golf benefit for Matt here's why...for many years Matt has touched our lives, been there for us, stuck by our side, and always belived in the best. Now its our time to give back and show Matt we can follow in his steps. Matt is the most amazing person I have ever met. He has such a strong heart, an amazing attitude about all things, and he doesn't judge you. I consider myself the luckies girl alive because I have gotten the opportunity to share his life with him. Matt is the one person that you want your son, daughter, brother, sister, friend etc to meet. Such an unfortunate tragedy happen early the morning of March 28th. Talk about being at the wrong place at the wrong time. I want Matt to be able to have his life back. I want him to be able to one day move on from this and never look back. He'll be able to do that if everyone comes together to help. This is for Matt, his family, and friends to all get together and have some normal fun. So please pass the word on and come out and support him. You won't be sorry you did.
Once again, thank to everyone out there that has been praying. We feel them!

July 21st

2008-07-21T21:22:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend Matt swallowed alot, listened to commands and said some words! I stayed the night at the hospital Friday night due to some swallowing and coughing issues. Saturday morning he had coughed so much that you could hear his voice so much better. I kept telling him I loved him and he finally said the two words I have been waiting almost four months for...love you! I don't think I have cried so much! After a long tiring night that's all I needed! Two words.
Saturday night he said hi to his dad.his words are getting better. You just have to be patient and keep working with him. Its all there in his brain we just have to help him put everything back together.
His parents have talked to a lot of people in reguards to what we should do next for Matt. I believe they have decided to go straight to rehab now. We have to do whatever is going to be best for Matt. Getting him functioning again is going to be the best for him too. Matt will eventually come home. But for now we will fight to get him the best rehab care we can.
Tomorrow (Tuesday) Matt will go in for a small surgical procedure. He is getting a larger feeding tube put into his stomach. Please keep him in your prayers tomorrow morning. Matt is extremely strong and this is just a little turn in the road on his way to recovery. With a bigger tube it will be easier to feed him and then when we take him home will be able to blend food up and give it to him through the tube as well. Right now his tube is so small that its very difficult to push his food through and any kink will stop it from going through. This will just make it a lot easier.

July 18th, 2008

2008-07-18T21:15:00.000-07:00

Today we are contuning to air out matts bottom. He has some skin break down that we are trying to heal. So we are now calling his room the "naked room" :) letting him air out will be good for his skin. Matt has also been moving his tongue around a lot in his mouth. Not sure why, but we are going to ask the neurologist about this.
His parents will have his room painted on Monday. Waiting on the seat cusion for the wheel chair still. So almost there with taking him home.
I have been getting a lot of response about his golf tournament too! I'm very pleased so far. So don't forget to sign up! :)

July 27th, 2008

2008-07-14T11:04:00.005-07:00

Hey everyone! Just a reminder about the golf tournament...Here are a few ways to sign up for the tournament. Either call or email me at (760) 484-2767 or Lrsmith31@yahoo.com, sign up at the Pro Shop at San Vicente, sign up at Ramona Lutheran, or sign up at Spirit of Joy Church in Ramona. You can mail me the deposit ( 24005 Nectar Way Ramona, Ca 92065) or for those who know my mom can drop it off at the San Vicente front desk. The deposit will secure your place on the course. Hurry space is limited!

July 27th,2008

2008-07-14T11:04:00.004-07:00

Last night matt did something new!!! He was sleeping and rolled over and moved his legs in a more bented position. I was amazed! I just starred at him, thinking to myself..."did he just do that?" He did. I felt myself taking a deep sigh of relief, it's coming back. His brain is healing and he is starting to come back. What an amazing feeling. Seeing him all curled up sleeping like a baby was the most comfort I have felt in a long time. He was just so quiet and relaxed. I crawled into bed with him and just laid there with him. I just wanted to bottle that time up and hold onto it.

For some, it's hard to see the real Matt in this state, but if you look deep into those eyes you will see he's in there. He's just healing. I see him in there everyday. It's through his smile and his big brown eyes. It's when he makes noises and sighs. It's when he yawn's and coughs. It's his heart, his courage, and his strenght. He is our hero. Not just anyone could do what he is doing. So many doctors and nurses wrote him off and sealed his fate. But Matt has continued to show us each day that he will get through and he WILL show them all what he is made of!

I just saw Matt's new room at hs parents house. It looks great. It's so bright and cheery. I know matt will love it. It will be good for all of us to have him home one day.

I want to share a Bible verse that sticks in my head through all of these trialing times.

Proverbs 3:5,6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own uderstanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths."

July 26th, 2008

2008-07-14T11:04:00.002-07:00

Well in this last week matt has continued to make baby steps toward recovery. Sharp rehab came and did an evaluation on Matt this week. I don't think he's quite ready for sharp yet but if they could just teach us what we need to do to get him ready, he'll get there with time. We should hear back from them beginning of next week. The person doing the evaluation was pleased to see how far matt was. This is good news.

Swallowing is getting better each day. He is quite alert too. We have been taking him outside for the last two days. I think it's good for him to get fresh air and see the ouutdoors. he just looks around at people and follows sounds. it's ood to see that.

One day at a time is my saying, he's getting there, slowly, but we have all the time in the world. Keep praying and keep the positive thoughts coming his way.

Matt Ruiz Golf Tournament

2008-07-14T11:04:00.001-07:00

Golfing Time ladies and gentlemen! Get out your clubs, carts and Balls and lets hit the green for Matt!

When: Saturday, October 4th, 2008

Where: San Vicente Golf Resort in Ramona, Ca

Check in: 11:30am

Tee Time: 1:45pm

Food and Drinks: In the Bar at 7pm

Cost: $90 a person

Deposit: $45 on or before Saturday, September 13th, 2008

RSVP: Lindsey Smith 760-484-2767 or email me at lrsmith31@yahoo.com

It's going to be a lot of fun and I am hoping that Matt will be able to make an appearance for everyone! Let's get together, catch up, play some golf, have some grub and make some money for Matt!

July 15th, 2008

2008-07-14T11:04:00.000-07:00

Well, Matt is doing really good. He continues to have calm relaxing days. I've been continuing to work with him on saying noises and sounds. He does make a lot of noises throughout the day. To me that's great because you can really see how hard he is trying.
His parents were going to put a bigger feeding tube in his stomach but they are holding off on that right now at the moment. we thought that the tube was actually going into his Bowel but it now looks as though it has worked its way back into his stomach. The doctors still wants to go with a larger tube but his parents want to wait and see if it's really necessary to go through that whole surgical process.
As for taking him home we are almost there. The construction for the doorways is completed, the new carpeting was put in yesterday, now all we have to do it paint the walls. We have his custom wheel chair already. It's just like a regular one only the back is higher so it'll support his neck when he doesn't hold his head up. Dad has already pimped out his wheel chair with bight neon green handle grips and a bar pad. He also put seat belts on with black sheep skin! Matt's going to be pimpin!! Dad wants to put a motor on it but I said NO! I can just see it now, Matt's zipping down his street in a high powered wheel chair! lol

As for Matt's prognosis...Matt has what is called Diffuse Axonal Injury. Also known as DAI. This is a traumatic brain injury. 90% its patients stay in a vegetative state. 10% of the patients will eventually return to having normal functions. This improvement will be seen in the first year.
The more severe the injury, the longer the recovery period, and the more impairment a survivor will have once recovery has plateaued.
Recovery from diffuse axonal injury takes longer than recovery from focal contusions.
Cognitive and behavioral processes are controlled by specific areas of the brain, so the location of the injury determines the type of impairment. For example, patients who suffer a diffuse axonal injury and/or a diffuse hypoxic injury often have difficulty with concentration and long-term memory. They may have trouble dealing with more than one thing at a time, difficulty keeping track of appointments, and keeping organized.
There are several mechanisms of recovery after brain injury. Initial improvement may be due to the reduction of swelling (edema) of brain tissue occurring over days, weeks or months, depending on the severity of the injury. Next, damaged brain cells begin functioning again, usually over a period of weeks to months. Finally, undamaged areas of the brain may, to a certain extent, take over the functions of areas that suffer permanent damage.
Matt is past a lot of the rocky area which is good. We still have a very long road to go though. Right now we are working with him on swallowing so that we can start giving him liquids through his mouth and eventually food. He is breathing all on his own, he gets breathing treatments daily every eight hours. This is to help break up the mucus and make it easier to cough up. Matt has a very strong cough. This is a very good thing.
I have been going to the hospital everyday for almost four months now. And I can tell you that he is improving so well. When I look back on pictures from a week ago to now, he looks so much better! Everyone says what I do and his parents do must be so hard but really, what Matt does everyday is the hard thing. He's a miracle! A living, breathing miracle! I know that it's going to be a long time before life as I know it will start to feel normal again but, it'll all be worth it when he is able to stand on his two feet and say "What's up?" And one day we will be there. Just keep praying and believing.

July 10th, 2008

2008-07-09T16:30:00.001-07:00

Hi, well today I stopped before work to see him, he's doing quite well this morning. He was a little tense but he just needed to be repositioned. His parents have a meeting today to go over all the details for taking him home. So i'll have more info probably by tomorrow. Everyday he seems to be getting more aware of his surroundings. It's amazing to come and see him everyday and see what progress he has made. I am going to continue to focus with him on saying words and sounds to get the muscles working again. I asked him to stick his tongue out today and he did it! =) it's the little things that make us smile.

July 9th, 2008

2008-07-09T16:30:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! Cristi suggested that I start my own blog so I can keep everyone update more often, and now with Matt coming home soon I will be able to share new things with you as he continues to get better. And yes I did say he is coming home. I am very excited! We should be able to take him home around the first of August. Right now we are just getting everything ready at his parents house for his arrival. As I speak, the contractors are working on widening the door ways so we can get the wheel chair in and out. Matt has been taken off most of the medications that he was on and he seems to be doing just fine. Right now the only thing that we will have to watch for is his feeding tube and his catheter. He no longer has any IVs which is nice because he just looks so normal now. I was able to get him to squeak out the word hi about two weeks ago. =) It was amazing! I was really happy that his first word was with me. I work very hard every night with him to get him to start talking so that was very rewarding for me. The way he lights up when I come in the room just gives me goose bumps! It's so good to see that he knows me. It really helps after almost four months. Please keep praying for him everyday. He is such a fighter and I can't wait until he is back on his feet. Also please keep me and his family in prayers as well, even though he is doing so great, time is taking a toll on all of us. Pray for patience because it's just going to take time.

Also I know alot of you live out of state but if anyone is in town or interested in playing in a golf tournament for Matt in September, I would love for you to join us! I will have more info soon. Just wanted to put the bug in every one's ear.