December 30th, 2008

Iwanted to write a final entry for the year 2008. As this year comes to an end I am reminded of all the things that occurred throughout the year. This has been by fair the hardest and most emotional year I have ever been through. I can only hope that I will never have to go through what I went through this year. A lot of new things have been brought to my attention that I never new about. Certain issues that might have lead to Matt's decision to go home with a co-worker, his decision not to go back to our house, reasons that could explain why Matt was under so much pressure the week of his accident. It breaks my heart to even think about what Matt was going through. All the things that must have been going through his head. He was so torn, and if anyone knows Matt like myself and his parents know Matt, you would know that he lives his life for being happy, having friends, enjoying life, but that week some people who Matt cared very much for put him in a spot where he was forced to make a decision that he never wanted to make. Its truly sad to think that someones influence can ruin their future. I honestly don't know how to feel about all that I have learned, I feel betrayed, I feel hurt, and worst...I'm left with an empty feeling and a very uncertain future. One thing I do know is that I love Matt very much and I know he loves me as much as I love him. I see it in his eyes everyday when I come over to visit him. It's the way he looks at me, the way he sighs when he sees me for the first time, and it's the way he touches me when I sit by his side. I can't even begin to explain the sadness I have gone through these last nine months. The only reason why I am still standing on my two feet is because I have an amazing family and I have gained another amazing family. The Ruiz family have welcomed me into their home as a daughter. I love them so much. Without them this would not have been possible to get this far.

Going through Christmas was very difficult, it was extremely lonely. Yes, Matt was there with us but still it was so different. I missed his smile, his laugh, his humor, I missed him. You don't realize how much someone has an effect on your life until they aren't there anymore. And as some of you may know my birthday is on New Years Eve, and I have to spend it without him. I hate feeling this way. I hate feeling like a part of me is missing. I want so badly to close my eyes and have everything be okay. But this is reality and it's a little more complicated than that. All I can hope for is that 2009 will hold promising things for Matt. That's all I want. Matt deserves that. He's worked so hard to be where he is now.

I want to thank everyone for their good thoughts and their prayers for all of us. Everyone has been so supportive. I cannot wait to tell Matt about all the love and support everyone has given us through these very trialing times. I've seen how Matt has touched so many lives in his 26 years. He is truly loved by many.

Some key tips for the new year: Always say I love you to your loved ones, never take anyone for granted, keep your friends close and your enemies closer, always pray to God, learn to forgive, and learn to forget. Treasure your special moments, take lots of pictures; they last longer. Meet new people, make new friends, and travel somewhere you've never been. Don't be too serious, know when to have fun, and make sure you laugh until you cry.

Matt we will get our happy ever after ending, it might not be today, or tomorrow, or maybe not for a few years, but one day we will. I promse you that. You promised me you would always be there for me through thick and thin, and now I am promising you the same. I'll always be here. You'll always be right here in my heart. Now and forever. I love you!!!!

I hope and pray for a blessed and safe New year for everyone. May God give us all a miracle!

So long 2008!!

December 27th, 2008

Matt went back to the eye doctor yesterday and had his eyes tested again. The nerve to his vision is healing. Its better than it was before. He was fitted for glasses and should get them in two weeks. His eyes are great and so are the muscles. Its the nerve from the brain to the eyes that's a little off.
I can't wait to see what a difference the glasses will make. When they put the lenses on him he responded really well as they talked to him he looked toward the direction of the voice. As before he wouldn't. So this will be exciting to see if it works.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! We all came down with a really bad flu last week and we are now finally all better. Just in time for Christmas.
Matts been doing really good in light of being so sick for a few days. He was only able to make it to one day at sharp due to the rain and being sick. So its kind of hard to really say how it was. Hopefully starting next week he will get back into sharp and we will be able to see what this will hold for Matts future.
As we all decorated for Christmas we were telling Matt all about it. I decorated his room with a Christmas tree, some lights, and garland. His mom decorated the house, and put lights up outside too. Unfortunately matt was too sick to come out and decorate tbr tree with the ornaments so I took his place and put his up. It was a really nice time.
Today for a lot of us is bitter sweet. We are blessed to have Matt with us but sad that he isn't talking and enjoying the wonderful time of Christmas with us. But...he was here with us and that made our day wonderful. He looks amazing. I can only hope that as a new year comes around it will hold new surprises for each of us.

December 14th,2008

Sorry its been awhile but I wanted to wait for some news to share with you.
Matt has been doing really well. He continues to keep at the hard work of standing, holding his head up, and getting to know his vocal cords. Resently his parents purchased a standing frame for Matt, and it was probably the best thing ever. This device is able to get Matt standing on his own so there isn't as much stress out on his parents and Spencer. I get to see it today for the first time!
Matt is still getting to know his voice. He makes lots of noises sometimes. Its really neat to here. I'm still hoping it'll come through soon. I can't wait to here that first word. Matt is starting to eat a little bit of baby food through his mouth too! His mom will feed him mangos and he just rats it all up! His swallowing is getting so good!
His mom and dad came up with a great way to communicate with Matt too! They asked Matt to holding one finger up for tea and two fingers up for no. And he does it! Its so awesome to see and also just to be able to communicate with him! It was best because I asked him the other day if he loved me and he held up one finger. I asked him if he was going to be okay and just needef time to heal. He held one finger up and then let out a big sigh. :) If I can't hear him say I love at least I got an answer. It was a good feeling.
Even better news...Matt has been excepted to Sharp Rehab!! He starts Monday! He will be going three days a week for 3 hours each session. It will be all outpatient. Matt will still be having Spencer coming out to the house as well. Starting tomorrow Matt is going to be a very busy boy! This is so good for him though. I can't wait to see what is going to happen now with all this rehab!
Lisa decorated the house this week and I think its good for Matt to see all the decorations. I put a cute little Christmas tree up in Matts room. I'm going to finish decorating his room today. Its important to still do things normally as we would in spite of what has happened. Its hard but Matt would want it and that's all that matters.