May 30th, 2009

I am so happy to report that we finally got an appointment date for the swallow test! June 1st! Tomorrow!!!! We need everyones prayers that day. This test is going to show matts capability to swallow and hopefully it will open the doors for Matt to eventually get his feeding tube removed! This is a huge step and my fingers are crossed for the best news, which would be that Matt can start eating whole foods by mouth now!
I know I shouldn't get too excited but its hard not to. With him going to speech therapy in June and now the swallow test and he's completely holding his head up now...I have a smile from ear to ear and my heart feels like its going to burst with excitement! I pray everyday and every night for a miracle, for just one more minute with him, just to hear his voice say I love you one more time.
A lot of people ask me, "will Matt ever be the same again?" My answer to that is simple, Matt should have died in that accident, but he lived, he pulled through the impossible, God has such an amazing plan for him. It might not be what we all want, but then it might, all we have to be thankful for is we still have an amazing young man in our lives. Gods never disappointed me before, and I don't expect him to now. There's a reason why Matt is still here with us. But from my heart and what I feel and believe, especially when I'm with him, Matt's going to surprise us all!

Matt always seems to surprise me. Like tonight, I was leaving and he gave me a hug and his parents said to give me a big squeeze!! HE did! It's the most amazing feeling in the world. I had to just hold back the tears. The way he makes me feel just takes my breath away. I'm just waiting for that phone call one day, saying he finally talked, or he took his first step today. I know someday we will have that joy of hearing and seeing that.

I posted two new pictures of Matt and I that I just took the other night. Hope you enjoy! Remember to keep Matt in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow morning! I can't wait to update everyone when I find out!

I love you Matt! And I miss you so much!

2nd Annual Matt Ruiz Golf Tournament!!!!!

So I now everyone has to be excited about this post!!! I sure am! Yes it is that time again ladies and gentlemen! Time to get out there again and show Matt and his family how much we want to see Matt back on his feet and back in our everyday lives! There will be more information coming soon but this is just a little teaser... =)

Where: Maderas Golf Course

When: September 25th, 2009 (tenative)

May 20th, 2009

Hi everyone sorry it's been awhile since I last wrote. I have so much to update you on. I hope I don't leave anything out...first I just want to say that don't ever give up on something you believe in, love, want, or trust. Listen to your heart and it'll lead you right where you need to be.

So as most of you know Matt's 27th Birthday was on May 3rd! We had a little birthday party for him which turned out really nice. It was so good to be home with him on his birthday celebrating rather than in a hospital like last year. Matt was totally awake this year and I think he enjoyed himself very much. I know I did!

In the last month I have noticed a chance in Matt. As I wrote in the past entry we were working on a recording for Matt. His mom, dad and I all went in and recorded with Jon Haaz. Well it's finished and Matt has been listening to it. Ever since Matt started listening to it I have seen a huge difference in his awareness, and just the way he looks at us and pays attention to what's going on, whether we are having a conversation or someone new comes in the house. It's so amazing how much more concentrated he is on everything. I can remember when I came over on a day that he had been listening to the recording and he heard my voice when I came into the house. He was laying on the bench and I saw his head pull up to try and see me. When I made it around to look at him he just starred at me. Now he always stares at me, I've said this before where I feel he speaks to me through his eyes, only this time it was different. I truly felt like he understood what I was going through and what I was feeling going through this whole process. It was like he soaked everything in that I had said in the recording. It was such a great feeling. I just felt loved so much more!

Matt has also been learning how to move his left side. Yes I said the left side!!! It's just like back in September when Matt was learning how to move his right side, it's slow and not always on command but it's getting there. But again if he is learning how to move his left side that means his brain is learning how to work around the damaged areas. That means that his brain is doing the impossible! He's once again being that 10%. I can't even begin to explain how proud I am of him. Just when I think he can't impress me anymore than he already has he goes and does this. To me he's accomplishing the impossible. He has his new lenses now too. He looks so handsome! His eyes look amazing. You can really see a difference from then to now. again this is another sign of his brain healing and working around the damaged areas.

Over the weekend we had his Dad's side of the family down for a Sunday afternoon gathering. It was so nice to see everyone and have that family time. His aunt said the cutest thing, "he does give her dreamy eyes doesn't he?" =) awwww he gives me dreamy eyes. You know whats so amazing? I met most of Matt's family after his accident. and yet now I feel like they are my own family. They have all welcomed me into their family with open arms and I am so blessed to have found such an amazing man with the greatest family ever. Just on Monday Matt was playing cards with his mom and she was getting him to count and pick out cards that would add up to a certain amount. She did this about 25 times with him and every time he got it right! So he was listening to what she was asking of him, processing it, doing the math in his head, then reaching out to grab the right card. That's alot for him to do, but he did it! not once, not twice, but 25 times! Later he was playing rock, paper, scissor with his dad. He totally got that concept too! When I hear about all this that's he's doing and see the difference in him it makes me think back to the days in the hospital...Palomar. Sitting in the hallways waiting on every second, minute and hour for some doctor to come out and crush all my hopes and dreams. Where every time I would sit in there with him and talk to him, pray over him, and just hope that he'll just wake up; there was always a nurse or doctor there to tell me to let go, move on, accept the outcome of the accident, remember him, love him, but accept that he's brain dead. And I would always tell them...nope, he's there, he's still in there holding on. I never gave up hope he would one day look at me with those big brown eyes, smile at me with that cute smile of his, hug me, hold my hand, kiss me, talk to me, walk with me, laugh with me, and one day grow old with me. So far he's done most of those. If I would have given up way back then I never would have had the joy in my heart that I do now. It just makes you realize that you can't listen to what people say. I listened to my heart, and I still continue to do so. Just recently Matt has learned to kiss me back. When I kiss him he smooches me right back. =) I would trade anything in this world for those moments.

Tonight I got the best gift ever from him. I was kind of tickling his feet and he just smiled this big smile, it's was almost this chuckle smile. It was amazing. It gave me goose bumps, set chills down my spine, and took my breathe away. Those are the moments I live for. I consider myself the luckiest woman in the world because I have his heart. He's everything to me.

I know there are trialing times in our lives and sometimes we feel like giving up, or we feel like it's never going to get better. Trust me I asked myself everyday for a long time...did I break a mirror, cross paths with a black cat, walk under a ladder???? The thing is when we face the difficult times we have to hold our head up high, keep our faith, and keep pushing forward. And remember there is light at the end of the tunnel.