August 31st, 2009

I'm sorry I have not been updating on here but I'm very busy with planning and coordinating this tournament. Please go to matts dads blog and read about matts progress. I promise after the tournament is over ill be back on track!
Speaking of the tournament... I know that all of you want to see Matt back on his feet again. In order to continue his therapy and get him what he needs we have to raise money. Im really reaching out to all of you right now and asking for everyones help. We need to get this tournament talked about. We need players, I'm having a really hard time getting players for this tournament. If you do not golf, but know of people that golf please pass along the information. I can't stress how important this is. MAtt has all the potential in the world to be back to the young man that we all love and miss. I know I want more than anything for him to just say "what's up"?
Please keep his tournament in your prayers. Thank you!!

See July 31st entry for golf entry form and details of the tournament.

2nd Annual Matt Ruiz Benefit Golf Tournament

It's that time again for friends and family to come together in support of Matt.

Here are links to the Entry Form and Poster for you to print out and/or send in.

Download/Print Entry Form: Click Here
Download/Print Poster: Click Here

As many of you are aware, Matt Ruiz was involved in a devastating car accident last year on the eve of March 28, 2008. Our family has been blessed to have the outpouring of support and encouragement of out friends and community members including you.

As a result of Matt’s accident, he struggled through a month-long coma and was hospitalized for a period of approximately five (5) months. It goes without saying that Matt’s condition is serious and both he and out entire family strive every day to remain positive as we face immeasurable medical challenges with him. It was determined, after tests, that Matt has sustained a traumatic brain injury from the impact of the accident.

What this means for Matt is that he is currently confined to a wheelchair is unable to speak and absorbs nutrients through a feeding tube. At present, his condition has been quite grim, however, Matt has recently made strides with his full-time caretakers and occupational therapist. While we’re excited to continue this level of care for Matt, we are unable to afford the prohibitive costs. Our family believes that with continued support and the proper medical attention that Matt will prevail. We know his spirit coupled with the continued support of our family and friends that Matt will transcend this tragedy to eventually triumph.

We’re writing to share of Matt’s progress and also to respectfully ask for your help and direct support. We’re teaming up with both Vision International and the Maderas Golf Club to host a fun-filled Golf Outing, to raise funds that will go directly to continue funding further care for Matt.

We invite you to join in the festivities and become a member of Matt’s winning team. We would be honored to have you with us for the day of golf scheduled for Friday, September 25, 2009 at 1 p.m. entry cost is $150.00 and/or we would welcome your consideration in providing a charitable contribution to our planned auction and opportunity drawing.

Any donations provided by a private person or organization would receive prominent recognition at our opportunity drawing/live auction display area and verbal acknowledgement in the presence of all guests.

On behalf of both Matt and our family, thank you in advance for your consideration of our request. If you have any questions, or if we may provide you with anything additional, please contact me directly as (760) 484-2767. We hope you can be with us.

With tremendous hope and gratitude,

Lindsey Smith (Matt’s Girlfriend)

Benefit Coordinator

Here are links to the Entry Form and Poster for you to print out and/or send in.

Download/Print Entry Form: Click Here
Download/Print Poster: Click Here

Golf Registration Form

Hi everyone, as you can see I have put up a registration form for everyone to take a look at. If you are interested in playing, sponsoring, or donating please let me know asap so i can get a registration form to you. This year we have a tax ID number from our main sponsor Vision International. If anyone has any questions please do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you!

July 3rd, 2008

July 2nd I went to speech therapy w/ Matt. I Really pushed him to do what we asked of him. I sorta stepped in and took over because I wanted results. Matt has to be pushed. He needs continuous pushing to do what we know he can do. Its what I like to call tough love. Its hard to be gruff with him but He did it. We also have to be excited about the things we are asking him to do. For example the girls at SDSU hooked a radio up to a push button, so all Matt had to do was push and hold the button to play music. If we get excited to hear the music and get into it then it will excite him more to do it. He does get a little angry when we raise our voices and really push at one thing, but he will do it.
That same Night I came over and watched a movie with him. I laid in his bed next to him while watching the movie. I turned my body sideways to the left. I Fell asleep and when I woke up he had snuggled up next to me, arms around me, head on mine.Opening my eyes to see his sleeping face next to mine felt so amazing! It felt normal again. I wanted to freeze time and remember it forever! When I get those moments with him my heart just aches. It makes me want more and more.
Today I went over to his house and stood on the bench over him and made him push his right hand up to me. I Had him place his hand on my thigh and move it down half way to my knee, then back up for arm control. Every time I told him to reach for me he did. He continued doing this with me for about 10 minutes. You can only keep Matt's attention for a short period of time with certain things unless he enjoys what he's doing.
We had alone time together which we don't normally have, so it was nice. He really focused on what I was saying. I really felt like I had my boyfriend back. It was a pretty amazing feeling. I got Lots of kisses. Communication between us was pretty amazing too. I'd ask for a kiss and he would give me one. I asked for a hug and he would give me one.
I told him while I was crying like a baby, (I really need to stop doing that) that I needed him back. I just missed him like crazy! I needed him to get better, I just needed him to tell me everything will be okay. He just lifted his arm up and put it on my shoulder, and I buried my face in his chest. I kind of felt bad afterward because He had a tear in his eye. I told him I was sorry for being so emotional, It's just that there are days and moments that I can't deal with it all and I just want to snap my fingers and have everything go back to normal. I want him so badly. There's so much going on in my life that I want to share with him and do with him.
I know there is light at the end of this road though and that's why I'm holding on to him. If I have to, I'll hold on forever.

June 28th, 2009

Today Matts family was up from Anaheim. We had a nice bbq and got to see his cousins 8 week old baby Daniel. It was so incredibly hot it Ramona today that we spent most of the time inside but yesterday his dad took Matt out and put his feet in the pool. Matt really liked it. Matt did something cool today. I was finishing up feeding him and he started to get a cranky look on his face. Then he started grinding his teeth. So I asked him what was wrong. He started grumbling so I said van you show me what wrong? He lifted his right arm up and touched his shoulder. So I asked him does it hurt? Do you have an itch? And he started scratching his shoulder. I told him to point where and I would help him out. He pointed and I scratched it for him. You could see when I started scratching he just relaxed. I thought that was pretty amazing because I've been telling him he has to start communicating how he feels. So today was a perfect example! I was so proud of him! If he can continue to do those little things and communicate like that, it shows progress. Now we just have to get him to do these things at his therapy sessions.
In the last month I have been super busy with school and work and I haven't been around as much as I used to. Matt has definitely noticed that I haven't been around as much and his attitude has changed. His parents noticed a change in his participation and just his attitude alone. And we connected it to me not being around as much. I'm going to try and go to his speech therapy sessions at SDSU after I get out of class. Hopefully he'll start participating more.
So just pray that he will start giving speech therapy more of a chance and that he won't get bored.

Father's Day

Yesterday we took Matt to the Del Mar Fair Grounds...or known as the San Diego County Fair. It was a beautiful day. His Mom, Dad, Britt, and I went. We had a great time! I think Matt really enjoyed going out and seeing different things too. I think being in the exhibit halls though might have gotten to be a little much for him though. But it turned out to be a great fathers day for his dad. =)

Today I was over there and I gave Matt the squirt gun and he started shooting me. His Mom started that with his last week and he really likes it! Looks like we will be having squirt gun wqars in the back yard this summer!!! =) Here's a Picture!

Matt Ruiz 2nd Annual Golf Benefit

Here's the info for Matt's Golf Benefit that I am having for him!

Matt Ruiz 2nd Annual Golf Benefit

Sponsored by: Vision International

When: September 25th, 2009

Where: Maderas Golf Club

Check In Time: 11:00am

Tee Time: 1:00pm

Cocktails: 6:00pm

Dinner: 6:45pm

Cost: $150.00 (includes Golf and Dinner)

Dinner Only: $50.00

There Will be a sign up on here soon. I'm trying to get everything up and going as fast as I can. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me. Email: lrsmith31@yahoo.comWe are still looking for sponsors too!

Hope we see you all there!!!!

Lots of Love,

Lindsey

June 4th, 2008

Hi everyone! Just wanted to give you a quick update on matts swallow test he had Monday. He did really good. They gave him a few different things to swallow with a barium in it so they could see how well he swallowed it down. He did great! Swallowed everything down and it was all going down the right tube. So we can continue giving Matt food to eat and swallow down. Lisa is just going to continue giving him more and more as long as he can handle it. The more he eats himself the stronger his tongue will get and his jaw and hopefully that will also help with speech too! Fingers are crossed!

Matt Ruiz Benefit!

Okay date is set! September 25th! Maderas Golf Course! Hope everyone will attend! Please contact me if you have any questions. More info will be posted as I continue to plan the benefit!

May 30th, 2009

I am so happy to report that we finally got an appointment date for the swallow test! June 1st! Tomorrow!!!! We need everyones prayers that day. This test is going to show matts capability to swallow and hopefully it will open the doors for Matt to eventually get his feeding tube removed! This is a huge step and my fingers are crossed for the best news, which would be that Matt can start eating whole foods by mouth now!
I know I shouldn't get too excited but its hard not to. With him going to speech therapy in June and now the swallow test and he's completely holding his head up now...I have a smile from ear to ear and my heart feels like its going to burst with excitement! I pray everyday and every night for a miracle, for just one more minute with him, just to hear his voice say I love you one more time.
A lot of people ask me, "will Matt ever be the same again?" My answer to that is simple, Matt should have died in that accident, but he lived, he pulled through the impossible, God has such an amazing plan for him. It might not be what we all want, but then it might, all we have to be thankful for is we still have an amazing young man in our lives. Gods never disappointed me before, and I don't expect him to now. There's a reason why Matt is still here with us. But from my heart and what I feel and believe, especially when I'm with him, Matt's going to surprise us all!

Matt always seems to surprise me. Like tonight, I was leaving and he gave me a hug and his parents said to give me a big squeeze!! HE did! It's the most amazing feeling in the world. I had to just hold back the tears. The way he makes me feel just takes my breath away. I'm just waiting for that phone call one day, saying he finally talked, or he took his first step today. I know someday we will have that joy of hearing and seeing that.

I posted two new pictures of Matt and I that I just took the other night. Hope you enjoy! Remember to keep Matt in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow morning! I can't wait to update everyone when I find out!

I love you Matt! And I miss you so much!

2nd Annual Matt Ruiz Golf Tournament!!!!!

So I now everyone has to be excited about this post!!! I sure am! Yes it is that time again ladies and gentlemen! Time to get out there again and show Matt and his family how much we want to see Matt back on his feet and back in our everyday lives! There will be more information coming soon but this is just a little teaser... =)

Where: Maderas Golf Course

When: September 25th, 2009 (tenative)

May 20th, 2009

Hi everyone sorry it's been awhile since I last wrote. I have so much to update you on. I hope I don't leave anything out...first I just want to say that don't ever give up on something you believe in, love, want, or trust. Listen to your heart and it'll lead you right where you need to be.

So as most of you know Matt's 27th Birthday was on May 3rd! We had a little birthday party for him which turned out really nice. It was so good to be home with him on his birthday celebrating rather than in a hospital like last year. Matt was totally awake this year and I think he enjoyed himself very much. I know I did!

In the last month I have noticed a chance in Matt. As I wrote in the past entry we were working on a recording for Matt. His mom, dad and I all went in and recorded with Jon Haaz. Well it's finished and Matt has been listening to it. Ever since Matt started listening to it I have seen a huge difference in his awareness, and just the way he looks at us and pays attention to what's going on, whether we are having a conversation or someone new comes in the house. It's so amazing how much more concentrated he is on everything. I can remember when I came over on a day that he had been listening to the recording and he heard my voice when I came into the house. He was laying on the bench and I saw his head pull up to try and see me. When I made it around to look at him he just starred at me. Now he always stares at me, I've said this before where I feel he speaks to me through his eyes, only this time it was different. I truly felt like he understood what I was going through and what I was feeling going through this whole process. It was like he soaked everything in that I had said in the recording. It was such a great feeling. I just felt loved so much more!

Matt has also been learning how to move his left side. Yes I said the left side!!! It's just like back in September when Matt was learning how to move his right side, it's slow and not always on command but it's getting there. But again if he is learning how to move his left side that means his brain is learning how to work around the damaged areas. That means that his brain is doing the impossible! He's once again being that 10%. I can't even begin to explain how proud I am of him. Just when I think he can't impress me anymore than he already has he goes and does this. To me he's accomplishing the impossible. He has his new lenses now too. He looks so handsome! His eyes look amazing. You can really see a difference from then to now. again this is another sign of his brain healing and working around the damaged areas.

Over the weekend we had his Dad's side of the family down for a Sunday afternoon gathering. It was so nice to see everyone and have that family time. His aunt said the cutest thing, "he does give her dreamy eyes doesn't he?" =) awwww he gives me dreamy eyes. You know whats so amazing? I met most of Matt's family after his accident. and yet now I feel like they are my own family. They have all welcomed me into their family with open arms and I am so blessed to have found such an amazing man with the greatest family ever. Just on Monday Matt was playing cards with his mom and she was getting him to count and pick out cards that would add up to a certain amount. She did this about 25 times with him and every time he got it right! So he was listening to what she was asking of him, processing it, doing the math in his head, then reaching out to grab the right card. That's alot for him to do, but he did it! not once, not twice, but 25 times! Later he was playing rock, paper, scissor with his dad. He totally got that concept too! When I hear about all this that's he's doing and see the difference in him it makes me think back to the days in the hospital...Palomar. Sitting in the hallways waiting on every second, minute and hour for some doctor to come out and crush all my hopes and dreams. Where every time I would sit in there with him and talk to him, pray over him, and just hope that he'll just wake up; there was always a nurse or doctor there to tell me to let go, move on, accept the outcome of the accident, remember him, love him, but accept that he's brain dead. And I would always tell them...nope, he's there, he's still in there holding on. I never gave up hope he would one day look at me with those big brown eyes, smile at me with that cute smile of his, hug me, hold my hand, kiss me, talk to me, walk with me, laugh with me, and one day grow old with me. So far he's done most of those. If I would have given up way back then I never would have had the joy in my heart that I do now. It just makes you realize that you can't listen to what people say. I listened to my heart, and I still continue to do so. Just recently Matt has learned to kiss me back. When I kiss him he smooches me right back. =) I would trade anything in this world for those moments.

Tonight I got the best gift ever from him. I was kind of tickling his feet and he just smiled this big smile, it's was almost this chuckle smile. It was amazing. It gave me goose bumps, set chills down my spine, and took my breathe away. Those are the moments I live for. I consider myself the luckiest woman in the world because I have his heart. He's everything to me.

I know there are trialing times in our lives and sometimes we feel like giving up, or we feel like it's never going to get better. Trust me I asked myself everyday for a long time...did I break a mirror, cross paths with a black cat, walk under a ladder???? The thing is when we face the difficult times we have to hold our head up high, keep our faith, and keep pushing forward. And remember there is light at the end of the tunnel.

April 22nd, 2009

Easter was a great time spent with great company. I was so happy to have matts parents over and Matt. My grandparents were there too and were able to see Matt for the first time. It meant a lot to me to be with my family on Easter especially since Easter was Matt and my last holiday spent together. Everything was perfect. I found myself just sitting there gazing around and I realized how amazing my life is. I have two parents who love me unconditionally, I have both sets of grandparents still alive and well, and I have Matts family that has welcomed me as part of their family and made me feel so loved. I think I can honestly say Easter was the highlight of my life. My dad later confessed he was watching Matt as I walked into the room and he said he was so amazed by how Matt just starred at me, follow my movements, and just kept his eyes on me. That made me smile. I don't realize that because when I'm talking to someone or not watching Matt the whole time I don't get to see stuff like that. So its nice to hear it.
Matt surprised us by doing a few things that day. One, when I put Riley on his lap he brought his hand up to pet him, and two, he took his moms cup from her hand and started to take a drink out of it. Also on sunday I was eating my dinner at matts house and while I was eating Matt just starred at me and my food!! He totally wanted my food! I gave him just a little and he seems to do ok with swallowing it. Hopefully he can start eating soon.
Some great and wonderful news to be told is Matts eyes are improving, the lenses he has now are too strong so this means his eyes are healing and correcting themselves. And if anyone forgot, his eye sight was a cause of the brain damage so this means that his brain is healing and things are getting better!!!! Slowly I know we will start seeing more and more improvements on things. Don't ever lose hope! Always believe, always trust! Some more great news is that Matt went back to SDSU for another evaluation, only this time he completely blew everyone away with the progress he has made in 6 weeks from the last visit! Again he's improving and things are connecting! :)
I recently had to bring myself out of a slump because all of a sudden everything hit me and I started panicing. I was crying and couldn't stop because I was scared and I let my emotions get the best of me. My therapist had me think about my life then and my life now. The thing is I love Matt more everyday because he shows me what a true hero is. I love how our relationship has grown through all this. I love how I have become strong from this and I haven't given up. Im glad that I can be here for him and be a support for him. The thing I needed to realize is that what was, will always be there in my memories, and what is, is right now and I'm going to make the best of it. Im going to love him for who he is and all that he is. Because no one or nothing can ever change who Matt is. He's the one my heart beats for everyday, the one I would die for, the one who one day will make history for all brain patients! And when he does I will be there, loving him still.
There's not a day that goes by that we all aren't scared of something, or afraid of what might happen. All we have to do is hold onto what we believe in and never let it go. Don't let anyone tell you you can't have what you have always wanted. Matt is capable of going after anything and everything he wants. I know he'll do it. He's strong, determine, and a fighter!
Say a prayer for Matt that he will feel the help and feel the support that is all here for him. Pray for him to believe in himself. If he can do that he can do it all.
Again thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the prayers. They do not go unheard.

April 6th, 2009

So Matt had a really good time at the car show! His dad gave him his ticket and told him to hold onto it. When we got up to the entrance Matt totally handed his ticket to the lady!!!! It was so neat! We asked him later in the day if he was having fun and he gave us a thumbs up! :) it seemed like he was having a good time. He was bright eyed all day. I think it was really good for him. He was out in the sun, around alot of people, and there was a lot for him to watch. I have a picture of him at the car show I'll have to post later.

April 3rd, 2009

I'm really happy to report that Matt has really started to communicate with us by using the yes/no buttons. He was first introduced to these buttons back in February at the SDSU evaluation. The yes button is green and the no button is red. His dad and mom were asking him questions such as "do you like standing, does standing make you clear headed, do you like being able to communicate, are you hungry, do you want a grape sucker, do you want a watermelon sucker?" Matt was able to clearly use the buttons to answer them. He also just seems so much more alert and clear headed. He looks happy. The other night we were watching TV and he moved a little and a huge smile came across his face. He was just lit up with this smile. I was so happy to see that. I asked him if he could give me a smile showing teeth and I was laughing with him and smiling showing my teeth. He then smile again but this time with his two front teeth showing. It was really neat. I swear it was like he was trying to laugh at me. Seeing these new things that he's figuring out is just really exciting.
This weekend we are all going to go to the del mar fair grounds to the hot road show. I think this will be really good stimulation. For him. He'll be out side around a ton of people and he'll have plenty to look at. Ill blog about our adventure later. And for Easter my family is having his family over. This will be good too. Its a change of scenery and he'll be able to see Riley! I'm excited to see what both of their reactions will be. And it'll be the first time that my grandparents will have seen him since before the accident.
I'm very hopeful for a promising month. He goes back to SDSU next friday for the next 3 Fridays. They will continue working on his speech progress.
Ill keep everyone updated on that progress as well.

One year later...

I have thought about this day for so long. I would think about where we would be in a year. What would it be like? I don't think you can ever prepare yourself for what the future will hold. I'm thankful everyday that I have him still to go to and be with and talk to. I'm not going to lie...it's hard. Somedays I can't go there and see him because I don't feel strong enough. But truth is, if I don't see him its harder on me. I still cry everyday for him. I still hope that when I open that door to his house he'll be there standing waiting there for me with open arms, a big smile, and a welcoming hello. I would give anything for that moment. I would give anything for just one more day to hear his voice, see that smile, feel his embrace, and hear his laugh. To think I have been able to get through a whole year without him is amazing to me. He's my whole world. He was what made sense in my life, he kept me going everyday, kept me hoping, kept me dreaming, he was the air I would breathe everyday. He was my best friend that I told everything to. I remember saying on the car ride down to the hospital, "this is just a dream, pinch me so I can wake up..." What I thought was a dream turned into my worst nightmare. Everything still seems like a blurr a year ago, but when I close my eyes I can see everything replay in my dreams. I see the accident, I see him laying there barely holding on, I see us all lined in the hallways crying and holding onto eachother. I hear the monitors and the quiet wisphers of the nurses and doctors. You think that with time it'll all go away, but it still lingers around to haunt you. Even after one year my heart hearts so badly. I feel like I can't breathe, it's like someone is sitting on my chest crushing me. I want so badly to turn back time and change the outcome of the events. But I can't and that is the worst feeling.

In this last year he has come so far and I am so proud of him. When I see him do new things it makes my heart smile again. I get so excited for all the new things that he is doing, it makes me so hopeful that everythings going to be okay. He's going to pull through. I know he is trying so very hard to break through that box he is stuck in. I see it everyday. I can stare into those eyes and see my amazing boyfriend in there. His eyes speak to me. I wish there was something I could do to help him break through. But I'll I can do is be there for him, love him, give him encouragement, and remind him that he can do anything that he puts his mind to. I keep telling him that it's just an injury, and all injuries heal with time. I remind him that there are ways of getting around the injury he just has to find the right path. We all know what it's like to have that voice in our head that tells us we can't do it, it brings us down and makes us feel like there's nothing we can do better. But then there's someone in your life that comes along that reminds you that you are amazing and you can do anything you want to. That's what Matt needs from everyone. He needs to be reminded that it doesn't matter how bad it may seem, he can get better, he can have his life back. It's going to be hard, it's going to be a struggle, there's always an uphill battle that's waiting for us. But once you make that climb and get to the other side you see how wonderful everything can be. I heard this saying the other night, "having people is better then not having any people."

Yesterday I went and met with Jon who does recording here in town. Matt's dad came up with an idea of going and recording our voices for Matt so that he can listen to it throughout the day. So I recorded yesterday. I had wrote out everything I wanted to say so it would be easier. I had to go down memory lane, I had to remember our memories, I had to bring up times that made me feel so in love. It was soooo difficult. But at the same time it made me think about how much we were in love and all the great memories we shared. I began to thank God for all the time I did have with him before the accident. Those times I will never forget, they can never be replaced. It's nothing to be sad about, it's something that I can always remember and hope that someday we can make many more new memories. His dad and I also opened Matt's computer up to look for some pictures. We sat Matt by the computer and we went through all the pictures together. Seeing our pictures put a smile on my face and brighten Matt's face up. He just starred at that computer screen all bright eyed. It made me feel good, it was like he was feeling the same things I was feeling. I just sat there with him and held him. I know for alot of people it's hard to understand how I can feel so empty and lonely because he's still alive and here with us. The thing is, it's so much harder because when you love someone so much it's hard to see them struggle everyday, it's hard to see them in a different state, especially when that person can't vocalize what he's feeling.

I hope that everyone remembers what happened last year. I hope everyone will be careful when they drive, and that everyone will think before they get into a car after they have had a drink. I hope everyone knows who they are getting into a car with before going anywhere. And I truly hope that everyone still remembers who Matt was before this all happened, hold onto that and hope for another chance of seeing that same Matt that we all loved. Keep the prayers going...they are working. Stop by and say hi to him, he likes visitors. Remind him of what to fight for. I can't express my thanks to everyone for everything that you all have done in this past year. Thank you isn't enough.

Matt,

I love you, and I am so proud of everything that you have accomplished so far! Keep working hard and know that I will be here until the end. I will never stop being here for you! I promise.

February 21st, 2008

I try to find a new way everyday to figure out how to deal with the situation at hand. I try to teach myself how to be stronger, how to be tough, but the truth is...I can't. I'm just me. I cry because I care, because I miss him so much. I think about the memories and all I want to do is scream because I want him back so badly. I want to see him smile, I want to hear him laugh, I need all those things. I never thought that I wouldn't be able to live without those things. It's all those things and more that made me who I am today. He made me a better person, we made each other great. I keep replaying a certain day in my head, I keep replaying his words to me. It's those words that keep me going, that keep me hoping. I'm so scared I'll never get Matt back, so scared we will never have the future we hoped for. But every time I have doubt Matt's their to remind me he's there. Like tonight, I had a little break down before going over to his house and when I got over there he was interacting with me and holding my hand. Later after dinner I was sitting on the bench where he was laying and he put his arm around my back, I leaned forward and kissed him, told him I loved him and always would...he started rubbing my back. He'd give me tight squeezes and then continue to rub my back, starting at my neck and all the way down to my waist. I can't even explain the feelings I was feeling. I wanted to freeze time so it would last forever. I just talked to him about our times together, past memories, silly moments, and he just continued to rub my back. God knew my heart was hurting and I truly believe he had his hand on Matt's tonight. We both are holding onto our memories, we both need to remember the good times.

With his year anniversary coming up i find it hard and difficult to deal with. We've come so far but I just can't believed it's almost been a year. It's scary. But I know that the year 2009 has so many good things in store for all of us. Matt will continue to improve, he will continue to amaze us all because he has a will and a drive to get better. We tell him everyday "we're not giving up so neither can you!" I know it's going to continue to be a rough and hard road ahead but I know we can all get through it. That bible verse continues to stick out in my head to this day, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord." We might not know what the future holds but we all know that God holds our future. We just have to trust and know everything will be okay.

I was recently told that it's okay to get mad, it's OK to get sad, and it's definitely OK to say "this sucks!" And you know what? It feels really good to say those things out loud. It makes you feel so much better. Because it's okay to feel that way sometimes. It's OK to not always have everything under control.

February 16th, 2009

For the past few weeks Matt has worked really really hard at accomplishing mew things. Showing us some pretty amazing things he has learned to do. First he still continues to write names with a pen. Hopefully we can soon get him to communicate by writing. He also has been playing cards with Spencer and his speech therapists. They will ask him to pick out the red jack, and he'll do it. They'll tell him to pick out the ace of spades and he'll find that one and pull that one out of the pack. They also had him count change. For example they would ask him if 2 quarters add up to 50 cents, or if 4 quarters is a dollar. Matt would respond by using the one finger is yes and two fingers is no. He still is giving amazing hugs!! Everytime I ask for a hug he reaches out and gives me one. The other day he did something crazy too...he was sitting in his wheel chair and he totally lunged forward toward me with notha arms open wide. He was making a noise and had this look on his face that he was trying to say something. I just reached toward him and asked him "what are you trying to say?" it was pretty cool!! His speech therapists says that matt is definately in there and he understands what's going on. To me that's extremely exciting news!
Just yesterday Matt was sitting at the keyboard and started playing cords on the keyboard. His dad recorded it and I was able to watch it when I got over there. It was amazing, gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes!!! He remembers! He remembers from before, it was so amazing seeing his fingers move across that key board, it reminded me of all the times he would play for me, and all the times I'd sit there and listen to him record. :) I'm so excited!

GREAT AND WONDERFUL NEWS!!!!

Yesterday Matt took and pen and wrote his name on a piece of paper at therapy. Amazing right?!! So last night we did the same thing and he took the sharpie pen and wrote his name, then his dad asked him to wright my name. He did, and he continued to wright his moms name, his dads name and Brit's name. It was amazing! We all had to keep the tears from flowing. It was such a relief to see him do this and just breath taking. I just kept praising him and telling him to look at what he was doing! I grabbed his face and kissed him then as I went to hug him he lifted his arm up and wrapped his hand around my head and squeezed me. I just buried my face in his neck. I didn't want to let go. I just kept saying how proud I was of him and how excited I am to see his improvements everyday. It doesn't matter how bad of a day your having or what went right or wrong, when I come home and see him and see everything that he is doing new today it washes everything else away.

Matt has such a strong ability to read into what we are all thinking and feeling. If I'm having a bad day he can totally read that and he gets into a frump. If you go and have a talk with him about whatever, he listens and takes it all in. I try and have talks with him about his recovery and how important it is for him to never give up hope of having a full recovery about once a week. Every single day Matt continues to make more and more improvements. So far this first month of the new year has been very exciting and I can't wait to see what the next few months will bring for his recovery.

January 24th, 2009

The other day I started playing catch with Matt. I was tossing a balloon to Matt and he would catch it against his chest. He would get a hold of it then hand it back to me. I was tossing it in all different directions so he would actually move his whole arm to get it. He did this with me for a while.
On Monday he didn't want anything to do with the therapist so hopefully today he will participte more. He really likes showing them he can use a spoon all by himself! He's starting to become more aware of what's going on so he likes to do things himself and a lot of times he doesn't want to do childish things. This is good though. Things are healing more and more in his brain.
It looks like Matt will be doing speech, PT, and OT every Monday and Wednesdays. Now he'll have Fridays off from driving down the hill. Once Spencer gets back he will probably have Spencer back on Fridays and Sundays. All this therapy is really paying off.
The next thing his parents are looking into is getting him a new bed. One of his therapists said that Matt should be going through the process of getting his legs on the side of the bed, putting his feet on the ground and participating in moving his body to the wheel chair from the bed. Its important that he does not become dependent off of the sling or the wheel chair. So we have been having Matt do things by himself such as, brushing his teeth, shaving, brushing his hair, drinking water from a spoon, picking out what shirt he wants to wear, all these things are so good for his brain recovery. And it gives him control so he doesn't feel like we are doing everything for him.
A few more months of therapy and who knows where we will be by then. So exciting!!!

January 17th, 2008

More great and exciting news!!!! Today Matt was in his standing frame and was holding his head up again. Later his parents were feeding him water from a spoon to help him get use to swallowing. As they were bringing up the spoon Matt grabbed it and decided he wanted to do it himself. So he continued to take the spoon and scoop up water and bring it to his mouth. He did this over and over again! Amazing right?!?!
Just wanted to update everyone!! And share the great news!

January 16th, 2008

Today was such a great day! Matt did such an amazing job at therapy today! I'm still just in awe of everything. As PT was moving him from the wheelchair to the bench, they had him sitting and he just held his head up all by himself. No help with the sholders or anything. I couldn't believe it, that was the first time I had ever seen that while he was sitting. Another thing he did was we stretched his arms out onto a large ball and had him roll it forward and backward. I say in front holding his hands to the ball and rolled in toward me. Then we asked him to pull it back. He did awesome pulling it back and with a little help he started getting better with pushing too. After doing 10 reps of that we leaned him back against the wedge support, his head was thrown forward, so we asked him to pull his head back towards the wedge so he could see everything. Slowly he pulled his head back up!! It was amazing! I started clapping and yelling praises! I was so excited! Matt was so much more alert and focused, even the PT noticed a change in him. Then we went to the bicycle! I was so excited to see him in action. As soon as we got his feet on the petals Matt was ready to go! And he just went! It was so cool to watch as he just kept going. His mom and I just kept telling I'm to go faster. And he did!
I was so glad that I was able to be there today to see how much progress he is making. I'm so proud of him and all his hard work. Oh, oh, oh!!! I almost forgot, Matt also is starting to move his head from side to side. Especially now with his glasses. So many good things!!!
Keep it up Matt!!! We love you!!

January 15th, 2008

Matt continues to work really hard when he's at Sharpe. He didn't have therapy yesterday due to a shortage of therapists but he'll be back friday and I get to go with so I'm really excited to see him on the bicycle! I keep telling him ill be there so he has to show me how fast he can go.
Tuesday Matt finally got his glases! I think he looks very handsome in them. I tell him he looks like a college professor. You can tell how much more Matt focuses with them on. Must be so much easier for him to see things. Yesterday they had Matt in his standing frame with his glasses on and he held his head up all by himself. He was standing for 45 minutes! He continues to hold his head and neck up more and more. Like Spencer said we need to accomplish one thing at a time, and it looks like Matt might be there with the accomplishment of holding his head up.
Something that Matt does with me that just makes My heart leap out of My chest is he'll grab My hand or arm If I look like I'm getting up to leave. He'll just look at me and grab my arm as if he was telling me don't go. Another thing he'll do is If I'm laying in bed with him ill just rest My arm by his side and he'll move his hand to mine so we can hold hands. Last night I leaned over and kissed him on his cheek and said I love you. He reached his arm up and placed his hand on My face. I swear he can read my mind. He knows everytime I need his touch. Its like he's reassuring me that everything will be ok. He knows me all too well.

January 12th,2008

So today Matt will head back to Sharpe today for OT, PT and his his first day of speech therapy!! I really wish I could be there today. Matt continues to do really well on the bicycle, each time he goes longer and he goes faster. Is legs are getting really strong and its not just his right leg either. He's really pushing his left leg. His eye glasses should be arriving any day now so that will be another good thing for him as well. I really think Matt will be more responsive once he can see clearly. It must be so irritating seeing double or even triple, and try to concentrate on doing things at the same time.
As soon I get all the info from his appointment today I will write more. :)

January 8th, 2008

Exciting news!! Well this year for matt has started off really good. He started back at Sharp rehab on Monday, he also had an evaluation with Kaisers speech therapy. It was a very busy day for him. Let's start with speech first...so again we were told that kaiser doesn't really have experience with patients like Matt, but she was able to give us good ideas on how to strengthen matts tongue muscles. She also said it was a good idea to continue feeding Matt through his mouth a few times a day little bits at a time. We stressed to her that sharp is able to get Matt to the next step and out of what we call the grey area (which kaiser doesn't know). Then we can take him back to speech at kaiser and they can take over. Our fingers were crossed as we continued to make our way to sharp for Pt. While we were at pt we got a call from kaiser saying Matt had been referred to sharp for speech!!!! Praise God for that! So he starts Monday!
Now with pt he's still I think getting use to the way they do things there. but he is still being responsive. in fact yesterday he rode a bicycle!! I'm sure all your mouths just dropped like mine did when his mom told me last night. What they did was pulled a bicycling machine up to his wheel chair that strapped his feet on the petals. They set it on a timer and Matt started pedaling! If he slowed down they would just tell him to speed up and keep going! And sure enough he did! He went 16 minutes of cycling! The therapists said its one thing you'll never forget how to do. His OT had him putting objects through holes in a board. He does very well with that as well as pointing out colors, pictures, numbers and also flash cards are another great way for him to identify the diffeneve between two objects.
All I can say is that Matt is in there. And everyday he's getting stronger! Never under estimate the power of God and his miracles. God has an amazing plan Matt, we just have to be patient and another time for healing.
Some things I want to share with all of you are the things Matt does everyday for us. If you hold up two shirts and ask him what one he wants to wear he points to the one he wants. If you hand him a comb and tell him to comb his hair he will. If you hand him the tooth brush and tell him to help with brushing his teeth he will. If you say goodbye he will go to shake your hand or give you knuckles. If tou lean over and give him a hug and ask him to hug you back he will lift his right arm and gig tou back. If you tell him to give you a squeeze he will. When I ask him to give me a kiss he puckers up his lower lip. He does all these amazing things! He's awake everyone! He's alert! He is still healing but...he's getting there. This is something we all wanted 9 months ago. He's giving us hope. I promised Matt the day he came into that hospital holding onto barely anything that I would do whatever it took to get him back on his feet. I won't quit on him. And he won't quit on us. I have really good feelings for 2009! Love tou Matt, forever!!